Celebrities are often seen as role models for young people. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is debatable whether it is beneficial to accept famous

people

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as ideal for youngsters.

This

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is certainly a positive approach because these celebs can make young ones hardworking and healthy.

This

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essay will elucidate these points in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, first and foremost why

celebrities

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as role models are common to be observed for Generation Z is

due to

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their struggle.

For example

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, Robert D. Junior, commonly known as Iron Man, went through drugs and imprisonment in his early times;

however

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, he overcame and became famous among the younger generation for his consistent efforts and dedication to a better life.

In addition

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, not only can the new generation easily observe the never-quitting behaviour of these

celebrities

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but

also

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they come across the importance of sacrifices.

Hence

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, virtues like these ensure the image of

celebrities

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as real idols.

Furthermore

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, the healthy lifestyle of well-known

people

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can be exemplary for youngsters.

For instance

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, research conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in March 2015 stated that 80 per cent of

people

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in the UK were keenly interested in encouraging their young children to set an idol from famous sports players because it could induce them towards being fit. If young ones follow sports icons, they may participate in games and physical activities and

consequently

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, they will become healthy in the long term.

Additionally

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celebrities

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who are conscious about fitness, mostly post health-related advice and dietary products on their social media accounts that their young followers can adopt and use to be internally fit.

Thus

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, seeing

celebrities

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as role models for youngsters is not harmful.

To conclude

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, it is unequivocal that considering famous

people

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as mentors for young

people

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due to

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their determined and healthy nature,

this

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phenomenon is indeed a welcoming one.

Mrjit147Thu Aug 22 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that introductory and concluding sections are explicitly clear. While your essay does have them, making them more distinct will improve readability.

logical structure

To further enhance coherence, use a wider variety of transitional phrases and connecting words. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'Firstly', you might use 'To start with', 'Initially', etc.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments and the points you're making.

relevant specific examples

The essay includes relevant and specific examples, which strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points effectively.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with ideas flowing smoothly from one paragraph to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Celebrities are often seen as role models for young people. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

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