The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Thanks to the

advance

Fix the agreement mistake

advances

show examples

in technology, the

Internet

Use synonyms

has been prevalently evolving many aspects of human activities.

Such

Linking Words

develop

Replace the word

development

show examples

has raised

the

Correct article usage

show examples

prominent debate as to whether local authorities should

enfore

Correct your spelling

enforce

more online regulations to protect

users

Use synonyms

from

Use synonyms

cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

and promote

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online safety.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will delve deeply into the merits and drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

stance and eventually deliver the partly advocating rationales.

Firstly

Linking Words

, by controlling the usage of the

Internet

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

risks breaching the freedom of information, resulting in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

media censorship and misleading information.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of the current

Internet

Use synonyms

policies in many parts of the world is that the local informatics department may limit any

news

Use synonyms

access providing that a lot of

news

Use synonyms

is detrimental to not only individuals but

also

Linking Words

to national extent. Yet,

this

Linking Words

act

also

Linking Words

hinders some factual affairs happening around the world and in

turns

Fix the agreement mistake

turn

show examples

raising

Wrong verb form

raises

show examples

the question about the validity of

news

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, online

users

Use synonyms

will search for alternative approaches to get updated and it may lead to more harmful websites, which

conflicting

Wrong verb form

conflict

show examples

with the original incentives. Another reason

Change preposition

for opposing

show examples

opposing

Change preposition

for opposing

show examples

the control of the government

Change preposition

over

show examples

Change preposition

over

show examples

the

Internet

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the practicality of reducing

Use synonyms

cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

. Proponents claimed the safety of the

Internet

Use synonyms

could be enhanced by executing some powerful laws and soon

decline

Wrong verb form

declining

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online criminals.

In contrast

Linking Words

, it is undeniable that hackers are

also

Linking Words

progressing in a way to

breaking

Wrong verb form

break

show examples

Linking Words

this barriers

Change the determiner

this barrier

these barriers

show examples

as many online

users

Use synonyms

have aspirations to get through the firewall to reach some sites assuming they are useful for them regardless

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

governmental warning and policies.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these responsible personnel should keep up the pace with both criminals and

users

Use synonyms

to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

national

Internet

Use synonyms

security.

However

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

advantages of managing the

Internet

Use synonyms

and if

implementing

Change the form of the verb

implemented

show examples

correctly, it could

facility

Replace the word

facilitate

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

safety and deflate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

. One of the cases is to progressively update the firewall to filter out many dangerous and inappropriate sites. It could possibly prevent hackers from attacking and

users

Use synonyms

can feel the security when surfing

Correct article usage

the webs

show examples

webs

Fix the agreement mistake

web

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, it is

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

as citizens can get authentic

news

Use synonyms

despite some limitations and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a strong protective foundations

Correct the article-noun agreement

a strong protective foundation

strong protective foundations

show examples

to either educate its citizens or to develop without the concern of

cyber

Use synonyms

crime

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it may be

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to have governmental control on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Internet

Use synonyms

usage since it provides

Add an article

the user

show examples

user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protection

as well as

Linking Words

lessening

Wrong verb form

lessens

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online attacks. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, the adverse impacts may overshadow the positives as these regulations may breach the freedom of information or the validity of these practices.

Therefore

Linking Words

, local authorities should weigh these measures carefully before any implementation to ensure the effectiveness of

these enforcement

Change the determiner

this enforcement

show examples

vinu052t

Aug 27, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure all arguments are supported with relevant and specific examples. This strengthens the essay and makes your points more persuasive.

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas by making sure each paragraph has a single main point that is clearly stated and supported.

coherence cohesion

Revisit some of the phrasing and sentence structures to enhance readability and avoid awkward expressions.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.

task achievement

You have succeeded in providing a balanced view by discussing both the merits and drawbacks of government control of the Internet.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

446 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cybercrime
regulations
monitoring
suspicious activities
internet safety
user trust
e-commerce
censorship
freedom of speech
access to information
over-regulation
innovation
tech industry
data protection
identity theft
financial fraud
technical limitations
digital landscape

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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government spends a lot of money on education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extent do agree or disagree?

Many working people get very little or no exercise causing health problems. what are the causes and what is the solution to this problem.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people reasearch this?

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience.