The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #control #internet #cyber #crime #safety #users

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Thanks to the

advance

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advances

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in technology, the

Internet

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has been prevalently evolving many aspects of human activities.

Such

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develop

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development

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has raised

the

Correct article usage

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prominent debate as to whether local authorities should

enfore

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enforce

more online regulations to protect

users

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from

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cyber

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cybercrime

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crime

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and promote

the

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apply

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online safety.

Thus

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this

Linking Words

essay will delve deeply into the merits and drawbacks of

this

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stance and eventually deliver the partly advocating rationales.

Firstly

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, by controlling the usage of the

Internet

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government

Add an article

the government

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risks breaching the freedom of information, resulting in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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media censorship and misleading information.

For instance

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, one of the current

Internet

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policies in many parts of the world is that the local informatics department may limit any

news

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access providing that a lot of

news

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is detrimental to not only individuals but

also

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to national extent. Yet,

this

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act

also

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hinders some factual affairs happening around the world and in

turns

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turn

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raising

Wrong verb form

raises

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the question about the validity of

news

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Thus

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, online

users

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will search for alternative approaches to get updated and it may lead to more harmful websites, which

conflicting

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conflict

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with the original incentives. Another reason

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for opposing

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opposing

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for opposing

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the control of the government

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over

show examples

Change preposition

over

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the

Internet

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

apply

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that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the practicality of reducing

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cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

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crime

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. Proponents claimed the safety of the

Internet

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could be enhanced by executing some powerful laws and soon

decline

Wrong verb form

declining

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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online criminals.

In contrast

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, it is undeniable that hackers are

also

Linking Words

progressing in a way to

breaking

Wrong verb form

break

show examples

Linking Words

this barriers

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this barrier

these barriers

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as many online

users

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have aspirations to get through the firewall to reach some sites assuming they are useful for them regardless

the

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of the

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governmental warning and policies.

Therefore

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, these responsible personnel should keep up the pace with both criminals and

users

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to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

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national

Internet

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security.

However

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, there are

also

Linking Words

advantages of managing the

Internet

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and if

implementing

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implemented

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correctly, it could

facility

Replace the word

facilitate

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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safety and deflate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

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crime

Use synonyms

. One of the cases is to progressively update the firewall to filter out many dangerous and inappropriate sites. It could possibly prevent hackers from attacking and

users

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can feel the security when surfing

Correct article usage

the webs

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webs

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web

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Then

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, it is

benefitial

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beneficial

as citizens can get authentic

news

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despite some limitations and

government

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the government

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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a strong protective foundations

Correct the article-noun agreement

a strong protective foundation

strong protective foundations

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to either educate its citizens or to develop without the concern of

cyber

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crime

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. In conclusion, it may be

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to have governmental control on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Internet

Use synonyms

usage since it provides

Add an article

the user

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user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

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with

the

Correct article usage

apply

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protection

as well as

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lessening

Wrong verb form

lessens

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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online attacks. On the other

hands

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hand

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, the adverse impacts may overshadow the positives as these regulations may breach the freedom of information or the validity of these practices.

Therefore

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, local authorities should weigh these measures carefully before any implementation to ensure the effectiveness of

these enforcement

Change the determiner

this enforcement

show examples

Submitted by vinu052t on Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all arguments are supported with relevant and specific examples. This strengthens the essay and makes your points more persuasive.

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas by making sure each paragraph has a single main point that is clearly stated and supported.

coherence cohesion

Revisit some of the phrasing and sentence structures to enhance readability and avoid awkward expressions.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.

task achievement

You have succeeded in providing a balanced view by discussing both the merits and drawbacks of government control of the Internet.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

446 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cybercrime
regulations
monitoring
suspicious activities
internet safety
user trust
e-commerce
censorship
freedom of speech
access to information
over-regulation
innovation
tech industry
data protection
identity theft
financial fraud
technical limitations
digital landscape

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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, nobody will buy products newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsabilities. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?