Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, violent behaviours are prevalent in video
games
and
movies
.
While
a group of individuals presents the view that engaging in
such
entertainment is a great form of leisure, I strongly agree with those who believe that since these
games
and
movies
have several adverse effects on our community, they should be restricted by the
government
. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that
such
games
and
films
can lead to an increase in the crime rate. Individuals, especially youngsters, can be easily influenced by
such
films
and
games
;
therefore
, they are very likely to mimic the characters of
movies
and
games
and turn to criminal offences from an early age, without being aware of the consequences of their actions. In my opinion, encouraging aggressive behaviour, these
movies
definitely should be banned by the
government
. If the governments enforce new laws, it not only has positive effects on crime rate but
also
helps us create a compassionate society.
On the other hand
, another group claims that participating in these activities can be ideal for those who are in search of a cheap way to escape the fast pace of life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
spending some quality time with family members. They firmly insist that it is very economical to watch/play
such
movies
/
games
compared with outdoor entertainment.
However
, I do not find
this
argument as convincing as it appears to be based on inaccurate information.
According to
recent research findings, producing action
movies
/
games
is nearly twice as expensive as other genres. Since
this
money is usually provided by the
government
and taxes, it can be a complete waste of resources, resulting in a deficit budget, that should be avoided. Were people aware, they would think twice before making the decision to engage in them.
To conclude
, in my view, video
games
and
films
that include violent behaviour should be limited by the
government
because they can reduce the crime rate, which can assist in making our community a better place to live.
Moreover
, manufacturing these
games
and
films
is not logical because they waste resources.
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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but requires a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. Additionally, ensure that you present a specific opinion rather than a general statement. Task response could be improved by incorporating more detailed examples and fully exploring the implications of each viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure with discernible progression of ideas. Nonetheless, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother for enhanced readability. To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that paragraphs flow seamlessly from one to another.
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