Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, violent behaviours are prevalent in video

games

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and

movies

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While

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a group of individuals presents the view that engaging in

such

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entertainment is a great form of leisure, I strongly agree with those who believe that since these

games

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and

movies

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have several adverse effects on our community, they should be restricted by the

government

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. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that

such

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games

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and

films

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can lead to an increase in the crime rate. Individuals, especially youngsters, can be easily influenced by

such

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films

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and

games

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;

therefore

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, they are very likely to mimic the characters of

movies

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and

games

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and turn to criminal offences from an early age, without being aware of the consequences of their actions. In my opinion, encouraging aggressive behaviour, these

movies

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definitely should be banned by the

government

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. If the governments enforce new laws, it not only has positive effects on crime rate but

also

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helps us create a compassionate society.

On the other hand

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, another group claims that participating in these activities can be ideal for those who are in search of a cheap way to escape the fast pace of life

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apply

show examples

while

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spending some quality time with family members. They firmly insist that it is very economical to watch/play

such

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movies

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games

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compared with outdoor entertainment.

However

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, I do not find

this

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argument as convincing as it appears to be based on inaccurate information.

According to

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recent research findings, producing action

movies

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games

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is nearly twice as expensive as other genres. Since

this

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money is usually provided by the

government

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and taxes, it can be a complete waste of resources, resulting in a deficit budget, that should be avoided. Were people aware, they would think twice before making the decision to engage in them.

To conclude

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, in my view, video

games

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and

films

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that include violent behaviour should be limited by the

government

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because they can reduce the crime rate, which can assist in making our community a better place to live.

Moreover

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, manufacturing these

games

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and

films

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is not logical because they waste resources.

m.r.zamani1376678Wed Jan 10 2024

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task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but requires a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. Additionally, ensure that you present a specific opinion rather than a general statement. Task response could be improved by incorporating more detailed examples and fully exploring the implications of each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure with discernible progression of ideas. Nonetheless, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother for enhanced readability. To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that paragraphs flow seamlessly from one to another.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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