In many countries, people think owning a home is more important than renting one. Why is this the case? Do you think it’s a positive or negative situation?

n
Correct your spelling
In
many nations,
people
attach special value to
home
ownership,
while
dismissing the idea of renting.
This
mindset stems from financial considerations,
coupled with
the desire for greater freedom, and in my opinion, it leads to several undesired consequences. The incentives for owning a
home
are clear.
One
major advantage of
home
ownership is the autonomy to make changes to the property. When renting a
house
, the tenants have limited rights to redesign the place as they see fit, which can make the experience of living there less fulfilling. Owning the
house
,
by contrast
, can give unlimited freedom to tailor the building to their own needs, ranging from the
paint
Replace the word
painting
show examples
of the walls to keeping pets inside the
house
. Another compelling reason to own property is a financial
one
. Over a long enough period of time,
home
ownership is not only cheaper than renting, but it can actually generate additional income through rentals or rising costs of housing.
However
, I feel that placing so much emphasis on owning a
house
is detrimental. The belief that
one
has to own property pushes
people
to work extra hard to save money, which often comes at the expense of their personal lives or health. An average apartment in my hometown,
for example
, can cost up to $60,000 – an amount that would take years to collect considering the typical salaries that don’t exceed $1,000 a month.
This
situation is sometimes exacerbated by taking a mortgage, which inflates the actual cost of the
house
even
further
thanks to high interest rates. To pay off
this
debt,
people
are forced to work overtime, neglecting their
work-live
Correct your spelling
work-life
show examples
balance and
possible
Change the word
possibly
show examples
leading to various health-related problems
such
as
sleep-deprivation
Correct your spelling
sleep deprivation
show examples
and emotional burnout.
To conclude
,
whereas
people
prefer owning a
house
to renting
one
for financial and practical reasons,
this
preference is bound to cause problems
such
as overworking and deficient work-life balance, which is why I believe it is a negative situation.
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task achievement
You've done a great job explaining why people value home ownership and discussing the potential drawbacks, providing a balanced view. One area to improve might be to consider alternative perspectives or broader implications, such as the effect on broader economic conditions or community development.
coherence cohesion
While you have structured your essay effectively with clear paragraphs, be careful of overly long sentences which could make your argument harder to follow. Consider breaking complex sentences into shorter ones to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a coherent and logical structure, which makes your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are very effective in framing the essay and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You have given relevant and specific examples which help support your points well.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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