Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries.Explain the main causes and effects of this problem,and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

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At the present time,

toddler's

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toddler

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obesity is becoming the main problem in many societies around the world.

This

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essay

is discussing

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discusses

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the negative causes of childhood obesity and

providing

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provides

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some solutions. On one hand,there are many causes of childhood fatness. First of all,eat junk

food

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. To explain most

children

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prefer to eat junk

food

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rather than fresh or healthy

food

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For example

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hamburgers,chips,MC Donalds and drink sugary soft drinks.

As a result

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, their body will be so fat and unhealthy, unfit and overweight. The second factor is lack of exercise.Nowadays most

children

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sit at home all day.To explain they don't go outside to do physical activity which helps them to move their body like walking running or playing with their friends.

Therefore

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they will focus on a higher risk of diseases like diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

In addition

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, the majority of

children

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like to play indoors rather than play outside or do sports.

For example

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,play computer games,chat on the internet or play games on their phones.

To sum up

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they will be a burden on hospitals in the future. In conclusion, it is true that obesity among

children

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with its negative impacts is growing but it seems to me that there are many solutions to these problems as giving

children

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healthy

food

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and controlling what they eat.

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,it is the parents,schools and government's responsibility to encourage

children

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to exercise daily.

Submitted by lailakhalil3 on Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more concrete examples and detailed explanations to fully support your main points. This will help enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between points by using transitional phrases and clearly linking them back to the main thesis. This can help create a smoother, more cohesive essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down longer sentences and paragraphs to make the essay easier to read and understand.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed the main causes and effects of childhood obesity, and have suggested solutions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.

task achievement

Your ideas are relevant and on-topic, which shows a good understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

226 words

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries.Explain the main causes and effects of this problem,and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes are recycled. They say that only way to increase recycling is a for government to make it legal requirement. To what Tex and do you think clause are needed to make people recycle more of their waste

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Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As computers translate quickly and accurately, learning foreign languages is a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.