Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best way for students to prepare for their future career Others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At the present
time
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time,
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the majority of teenagers face
dilemma
Add an article
the dilemma
a dilemma
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of
whther
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whether
to get
job
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a job
show examples
emediatly
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immediately
after
school
or continue
ther
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their
education .
This
essay
is discussing
Wrong verb form
discusses
show examples
this
topic from both points of
veiws
Correct your spelling
views
view
. On
one
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the one
show examples
hand, the option to start
work
straight after
school
is
atractive
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attractive
Change preposition
for seversl
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seversl
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several
reasons.
Firt
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First
of all,
get
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getting
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work
lets teenagers
to
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apply
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become independent . To illustrate, when they gain money they can have their own house, cars and family .
Also
,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
help
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helps
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students
to gain many experiences by learning several skills which can allow them to get
permotions
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promotions
.
For example
,
bussiness
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business
or some
adminestration
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administration
work
.
On the other hand
, I believe that it is more beneficial for
students
to continue
ther
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their
education
becouse
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because
some jobs
requires
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require
show examples
acafimic
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academic
qualification
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qualifications
show examples
which allow
students
to get better
oportunity
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opportunities
of
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for
show examples
work
.For
exsmple
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example
, in
Oman
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Oman,
show examples
the
students
must
to
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apply
show examples
get
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an ilsets
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ilsets
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islets
if they want to be
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a doctor
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doctor
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doctors
show examples
or
an english teachers
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english teachers
an english teacher
show examples
.
In addition
, completing
ther
Correct your spelling
their
education
help
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helps
show examples
them to gain
higher
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a higher
show examples
salary and become a useful member of
socity
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society
.
Fo
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For
show examples
instance some jobs as doctors earn more than 1000
rialr
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racer
monthly
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
who
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those who
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are working in the
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
after
school
. For the reasons mentioned above it seems to me that
students
are more likely to be successful in their lives if they continue their studies beyond
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
level.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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grammar vocabulary
Improve spelling and grammar to enhance readability and credibility of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Devote more effort to organizing your essay logically, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly and maintains a clear progression of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points, moving beyond general statements to add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which provides a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, which helps to reinforce the overall argument of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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