IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.
#british #emigration #destinations
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The bar chart shows changes in
number
Use synonyms
 of emigration to selected five different countries from 2004 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of overseas which was visited by the UK population,
while
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the least
number
Use synonyms
 of British people emigrated to New Zealand during 4 periods
Change preposition
in totally
show examples
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
. As can be seen from the graph,  New Zealand had a decline in
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of emigration in four out of the
three-years
Correct your spelling
three years
show examples
 shown on the chart, and in 2004 the figure for
this
Linking Words
 country went down to nearly 30 ,000. Spain had higher figures for emigration
in contrast
Linking Words
 to New Zealand ,but it decreased
considerablely
Correct your spelling
considerably
 by 2007,with 20,000 visitors.
Emigrations
Fix the agreement mistake
Emigration
show examples
 visiting peaked almost at 50,000 in Australia in 2006. USA
visiting
Replace the word
visits
show examples
 did not change between 2004 and 2006 .
In addition
Linking Words
, 
France
Change noun form
France's
show examples
 visitors dramatically rose in 2005 and rapidly declined in 2007 to under 20,000.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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