Sciencetists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive of negative development?
In technically advanced society, vehicles are going to be automatically driven particularly the unmanned automobile
There are some reasons why cars need to be driven by automatic way.
Firstly
, the rate of accidents and traffic jams will decrease remarkably because the algorithm of the computer calculated
for the optimization choice for customer services. Add a missing verb
is calculated
Secondly
, convenient for citizens when individuals do not have to do anything and it will be active by artificial intelligence
On the former reason, cause of decrease strongly on traffic jams, it can lead to a decline significantly for greenhouse gases by vehicles not staying in the same location for a too long time with the active engine. This
not only decreases the amount of carbon dioxide but also
saves time for residents by not spending time in traffic jams. For example
, technology shows the best and most stable road for citizens to avoid going to crowded places. For the latter reason, convenience dwellers can do the job when in the car
whether they are drivers or guests. In addition
, optimization safety for people especially are
families have Unnecessary verb
apply
child
need to go to school in an independent way because the autonomous Add an article
a child
car
can avoid accidents that they can meet when walking or taking the bus. For example
, the Tesla can identify all the things around the car
in a specific zone.
In conclusion, the autopilot features on cars can become one of the best investments in the history of humans, the concern of accidents when driving a car
will be decreased greatly by the safety created by computers. In my opinion, the population should accept this
technique, just for the safety of themselvesSubmitted by midden-02.tore on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction. Clearly state the issue and your stance on it. For example, 'As technology advances, scientists predict that cars will be driven by computers rather than people. This essay will explore why this shift may occur and whether it is a positive or negative development.'
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. For instance, group your points logically and use transition words smoothly. Your paragraphs would become more cohesive with transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Additionally.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure to proofread for small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'For the former reason' can be rephrased to 'Firstly,' to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Expand on your key points with more detailed and structured examples. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and clear.
task achievement
You make relevant and insightful points, especially concerning the reduction of traffic jams and greenhouse gases.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and reiterates the main points discussed in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.