IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to reduce crime among young people is to teach parents good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
youth
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crime
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 has become a serious concern in many societies. Some
people
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 argue that the best way to reduce
crime
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 among young
people
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 is to teach
parents
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 effective parenting
skills
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.
Although
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 some agree with
this
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 view, I partly support it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons why good parenting
skills
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 can help reduce
youth
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crime
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 is that
parents
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 play a crucial role in shaping children’s values and behaviour. To illustrate,
parents
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 who provide guidance, discipline, and emotional support are more likely to raise children who respect rules and understand the consequences of their actions.
For instance
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, young
people
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 who grow up in stable family environments with clear boundaries are generally less likely to engage in criminal activities, as they develop self-control and moral awareness from an early age.
However
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, another point that should not be overlooked is that
crime
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 among young
people
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 is influenced by factors beyond parental control. To clarify, social environment, peer pressure,
education
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 quality, and economic conditions
also
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 have a significant impact on
youth
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 behaviour.
For example
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, teenagers living in disadvantaged neighbourhoods with limited access to
education
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 or employment opportunities may be drawn into criminal activities, even if they come from supportive families. In
such
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 cases, parenting
skills
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 alone may not be sufficient to prevent
crime
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. To recapitulate, it is evident that teaching
parents
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 good parenting
skills
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 can contribute significantly to reducing
crime
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 among young
people
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, but it should not be regarded as the only or best solution.
Therefore
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, I believe that
while
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 parenting
education
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 is important, governments should
also
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 address broader social issues
such
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 as
education
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, employment, and community support in order to effectively reduce
youth
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crime
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.

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clarity
Make your main view clear in the intro. State exactly how much you agree at the start.
development
Add more depth to each point so your idea is fully shown.
evidence
Give more strong, real examples to back up your ideas.
coherence
Link ideas between paragraphs with clear sign words like also, however, in addition.
language
Check word choice and keep sentences simple so the read is easy.
task response
Clear take on the topic and a balanced view.
organization
Good essay layout with intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
coherence
Use of linking words helps flow of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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