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Band 6

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at school and at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #television #school #home
With the rise in technology, a lot of new educational TV shows have come to light. People have started suggesting that
children
 should be encouraged to watch
television
 regularly at school and at home. I am somewhat neutral on
this
 topic. On one hand, most people consider watching
television
 in their leisure time, which makes it more focused towards wasting time rather than learning effectively.
Furthermore
,
children
 can easily get distracted by their favourite TV shows if they are not under surveillance which can hinder their learning.
Moreover
, long exposure to
television
 screens can cause
children
 to have weak eyesight.
Lastly
, it might not be feasible to have televisions in certain schools which can not afford televisions to be available in every classroom.
On the other hand
, watching
television
 can help
children
 learn effectively because of the creative way of teaching it provides. It can
also
 help
children
 retain more knowledge
while
also
 making the lessons more memorable and fun because of the different animations available.
Children
 can have different ways to learn
hence
, making them more knowledgeable. From my experience, I was more focused
while
 learning from the
television
 and less focused when learning from books.
To conclude
,
while
 I think that TVs provide a way to learn more quickly and effectively, I
also
 think that
children
 should be in an environment where they would be under surveillance like a school so as to not get distracted and not in a house where they could get easily distracted.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Your ideas were generally clear and comprehensive, covering multiple aspects of the issue.
task achievement
You used personal experience to add credibility to your argument, which was a nice touch.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • engaging content
  • language skills
  • pronunciation
  • cultural awareness
  • physical activity
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • harmful content
  • appropriateness
  • active learning methods
  • group activities
  • practical experiments
  • hands-on experiences
  • retention of knowledge
  • social skills
  • in-person communication
  • social and emotional skills
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