Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Many people think that a scheme that will help and improve people's health and life is one of the crucial things that the
country
should focus on rather than waste a lot of money to gain Olympic medals. I agree with that, as healthy communities will increase productivity and will lead to better satisfaction in either work or life.
First and foremost, a healthy nation means healthy minds. Programmes that will improve people's health, will help them to have better ways of thinking, and future goals, make them disciplined and it will improve their time management. For instance
, if one has a healthy diet and runs every day, he will be able to do his tasks easily as he has learnt how to be committed to something. Furthermore
, this
will help the country
to improve and take a step forward, as its population IQ will take a steep up.
Secondly
, society will have to do daily exercises which may be eating healthy food or going to the gym, and this
will make them feel like they made progress during their day. These short-term daily goals will let their body produce a hormone called dopamine and it will make them happier during their day. In addition
, they will start to work harder and love their job as they want to have great achievements and have this
hormone to be
produced and experience the same beautiful feelings again.
Verb problem
apply
To sum up
, despite the importance of winning the Olympic games and its benefits to the country
, I believe that investing in the community to make them healthier will make the country
thrive more.Submitted by okalqusay on
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task achievement
Your task response is solid, but try to provide more nuanced arguments to add more depth to your essay. This can involve considering counterarguments and addressing them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your overall structure is clear and logical; however, strive to enhance the connection between points by using a diverse range of cohesive devices. Try not to repeat similar words or phrases and instead use synonyms or varied structures to maintain reader interest.
introduction conclusion present
You have presented a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion which frame your arguments well.
supported main points
Your essay contains well-supported main points, making use of relevant examples to bolster your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have successfully conveyed clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively supporting the stance you are advocating for.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite