IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Since the
development
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 of
science
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,
people
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's
life
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 quality has improved rapidly.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 believe that
this
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 is the ultimate purpose of scientific
research
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.
However
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, I fully disagree with
this
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 opinion. Review history, it is painless to clarify that
science
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 follows academic intrinsic
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
,
such
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 as independent analysis, which means scientists prefer to
research
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 and rely on their
specialties
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specialities
show examples
 and interests, in order to recognize the world objectively. In fact, since the complexities of the frontiers of
science
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, it is challenging to identify whether a scientific project is beneficial to human
life
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 or not.
For example
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, Einsten's theory refreshed
people
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's perspective of the physical world, and brought a series of technical innovations, but
also
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 accomplished the
development
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 of nuclear weapons. So, if we merely concentrate on the morality of
science
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, Einsten's
research
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 should be forbidden at that time, which is a wrong conclusion apparently.
Therefore
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, treating improving
life
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's quality as the pure motivation of
science
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 is irrational and unrealistic, because it violates the spirit of
science
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. Undoubtedly,
people
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's lives are related to the
development
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 of
science
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, but
this
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 relevance is not direct. Generally, scientific
research
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 requires massive financial and time costs with the uncertainty of consequences, resulting in scientific discoveries
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 unexpected usually. Meanwhile, many results of the
research
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 are likely to be illustrated as theoretical possibilities, which means they are unable to practice in applications in the short term.
Hence
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, a better way to describe
this
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 fact is that most scientific
research
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 is ineffective in enhancing
life
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's quality.
Therefore
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, it is axiomatic that aiming
science
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 at helping
people
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's lives is ludicrous. In conclusion,
science
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 runs on its inner logic and rules, and even though its
development
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 could be advantageous to
people
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's lives, it should be functional in exploring natural laws.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and offers some relevant examples to support arguments. However, some points could be further elaborated for more clarity and stronger support.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences contribute to developing that idea further. This will strengthen the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for the overall structure.
task achievement
You have presented a clear stance on the topic, which is maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
The use of individual examples like Einstein's theory helps illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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