Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Advancement in
health
care system provides an opportunity for older Correct article usage
the health
people
to live a longer and healthy life, and hence
, society
can benefit from this
in various ways. I completely agree with the notion owing to the fact that they have abundance
of professional Add an article
an abundance
experience
, and they can lead youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
generatiosn
.
Primarily, Correct your spelling
generations
generation
older
generation has rich professional Add an article
the older
experience
in the field they worked in (financial management, customer support, doctors, scientist
, Human Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
resource
and so on) because they had invested a lot of time and gained Fix the agreement mistake
resources
significant
number of skills and expertise to do the job. Change the article
a significant
the significant
This
experience
and skills can serve as a guidance path to the young professional in the given field. For instance
, a younger professional in customer support relies on various method
to solve Fix the agreement mistake
methods
customer’s
Correct article usage
a customer’s
issue
, Fix the agreement mistake
issues
whereas
if
you give Correct word choice
apply
this
problem to older people
who already have high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
experience
in the same field can
solve the issue in less time. If older Correct word choice
and can
people
guides
young professionals they can perform Change the verb form
guide
task
in less time which will Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
increases
the confidence to work effectively
Change the verb form
increase
Furthermore
, older people
can share the
personal life Change the word
their
experience
, Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
gives
advice on Wrong verb form
give
relationship
, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
friendships
, Correct word choice
and friendships
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
wisdoms
on living a healthy lifestyle, Change the wording
wisdom
pearls of wisdom
Correct word choice
and cultivating
cultivating
healthy habits for Wrong verb form
cultivate
mental
state, and these can be done through community programs. Many young Correct pronoun usage
their mental
people
are more inclined towards internet
Capitalize word
Internet
advice’s
because they have no one to talkChange noun form
advice
,
Change preposition
to, many
many
young Correct word choice
and many
people
does
not have proper support and guidance in their Change the verb form
do
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, these are important aspect
of individuals in our Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
society
and older
generation can help youngsters to reflect on these things Add an article
the older
Hence
, in this
way
we can create Add a comma
way,
a
responsible individuals and Correct article usage
apply
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
society
for everyone to thrive in
.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
society
can be benefitted from skills
and Correct article usage
the skills
experience
of people
over 65, also
they can help guiding
the youth on relationships and with Wrong verb form
guide
this
we can have a better Add a comma
this,
society
Submitted by ali695313 on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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lexical resource
Use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance clarity and expressiveness.
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Check your essay for grammatical errors and inappropriate word usage to make sure your writing is as accurate as possible.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your main points effectively.
task response
You provided specific fields and situations where older individuals can be valuable, showing that you understand the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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