IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In various nations, it is common for young individuals to be encouraged to engage in work or travel for a
year
 following their high school graduation and prior to commencing their university education.
This
 practice, referred to as a
gap
year
, presents both advantages and disadvantages. A primary benefit of a
gap
year
 is the potential for personal development. Young people often acquire significant life experiences through travel or employment, which can expand their viewpoints and improve their adaptability. Encountering diverse cultures cultivates empathy and critical thinking—skills that are advantageous in both academic and professional environments.
Moreover
, obtaining practical work experience can enhance employability, as young individuals cultivate vital skills
such
 as communication and teamwork.
Conversely
, there are considerable drawbacks to take into account. A major concern is the risk of academic stagnation. Students may struggle to re-establish an academic focus after a
year
 away from structured education, potentially impacting their performance in university.
Additionally
, financial considerations can create obstacles, as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or taking time off for work may result in debt or financial pressure, particularly if lucrative employment opportunities are not found.
Furthermore
, there exists a risk of diminished motivation for pursuing higher education. Some students may become disconnected from their academic aspirations during their
gap
year
, which could negatively influence their future career trajectories. In summary,
while
 a
gap
year
 can provide significant opportunities for personal growth and experience, it
also
 presents challenges that young individuals must thoughtfully evaluate. Striking a balance between these factors is essential for making a well-informed decision.
Submitted by albaraaalsufyani3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, consider providing more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate your points. This will make the essay more engaging and insightful.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words more frequently to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, providing a balanced analysis.
task achievement
The language used is formal and appropriate for an academic essay, which adds to the credibility of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: