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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it's better to choose friends who always have the same opionions as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

#people #friends #opionions
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There is no doubt that friend play a vital role in everybody's life.
However
,
while
 some
people
 believe it is better to make
friends
 with individuals who almost always agree with us , I would agree with
people
 who argue that it is more reasonable to become friend with someone who at times thinks differently from the way we do.
Firstly
, having
friends
 who always have the same point of view might be helpful to some extent. The reason for
this
 is that you all have alot in common,
thus
 you naturally think in the same way and it might be unlikely to argue with each other.
For example
, if two
friends
 think in the same way and decide to go to the movies, they probably end up making a decision in the blink of an eye, plus, they both are satisfied about the results. Consequantly, you are more likely to stay
friends
 in long-term and your relationship is significantly more sustainable in comparison with alternatives.
On the other hand
, I feel that our
friends
 must disapprove some of our ideas at times.
This
 is because sometimes we might assume that we are thinking correcty and we are righ about things
while
 we are not. Despite the fact that it is more easy to hang out and spend time with
friends
 who always agree with us, we need
people
 to warn us and show us prospects which we are unconscious about since we could make mistakes unintentionally.
For example
, when difficult times come we are tolerating too much pressure,
hence
, we are not able to think as we used to in normal and happy situations, so, we need someone who thinks better than us and help us with our issues to handle it.
As a result
, it is more unlikely to take wrong steps in challanging situations bu taking their advice. In conclusion,
although
 it seems that a friendship between
people
 with have similar ideas could be life lasting, I believe that we need
people
 with different views because they consider factors which we do not.
Submitted by shamim1999 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear standpoint and discussing both views with logical arguments. However, to enhance your score further, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and consistently develops this idea with well-supported arguments and examples. Avoid deviating onto tangents.
coherence cohesion
Your text generally flows well, thanks to a logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion. To improve, work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of cohesive devices. This will make your essay more engaging and enhance the connections between your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of belonging
  • homogeneous
  • supported
  • judged
  • diverse opinions
  • personal growth
  • broaden one’s perspective
  • critical thinking
  • open-minded
  • engaging
  • echo chamber effect
  • closed-mindedness
  • emotionally taxing
  • handled respectfully
  • balanced
  • supportive social network
  • develop
  • perspectives
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