Some people believe that parents are responsible for children growing into responsible citizens. Others think that teachers should do this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Individuals have some responsibilities as citizens to make their country more developed. There are lots of people who believe that they should have that awareness when they were children. I think those features should be learned as soon as possible.
Firstly
, some people agree with the idea that teachers have the biggest role in making children have some responsibilities because they are educated to teach the young ones how to be responsible citizens. Additionally
, the students, who go to schools, have the opportunity to learn what their duties to be effective for their family and country are. That might be true for teenagers, adolescents and even juveniles who attend school and see their responsibilities with interactions with others.
On the other hand
, some kids can have a teacher after they become 7 years old because not all infants have a chance to go to a
kindergarten. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, some other people believe that the parent's role is important in making an individual more responsible. Moreover
, they should have to see what their duties are before they go to primary school because it makes them differentiate what is wrong or not. For example
, if children don't know the concept of the property, they can cause some damage to their friend's belongings.
In conclusion, to make a child more aware of what his/her tasks are can be taught by a teacher. However
, I think this
process should start when they are born. After that, they can also
teach each other what their tasks are.Submitted by bloodylady on
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task achievement
In your essay, you have presented a balanced view of both perspectives regarding who should be responsible for teaching children to be responsible citizens: parents or teachers. However, to improve your task response, ensure you thoroughly address all parts of the task. Try to elaborate more on each point and provide a clearer opinion statement showing your stance. Adding a few more specific examples will also help substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, improving the logical flow and coherence between sentences and paragraphs could make your essay more persuasive. Use more transitional phrases to enhance the connection between ideas. Additionally, making sure your points are well-explained and smoothly connected will improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which anchors your discussion effectively. You’ve presented your points logically and your main ideas are well supported.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the task by presenting both views regarding the responsibility of raising responsible citizens. You’ve also shared your perspective, adding a personal touch to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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