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Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have just read an article in a national newspaper which claims that town centres in your country all look very similar to each other. You don't fully agree with this opinion Write a letter to the editor of the newspaper. In your letter 1. Say which points in the article you agree with 2. Explain ways in which your town centre is different from most other town centres 3. Offer to give a guided tour of your town to the writer of the article

#article #newspaper #claims #town #centres #country #look #editor #points #centre #offer #tour #writer
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter regarding your
last
 week article in "Daily News Ontario". You have covered a lot of information about my
city
 but it seems you have not published it in a complete manner. I agree with the facilities and security facts about
Kitchener
 that you have explained very precisely.
Moreover
, I am happy with the detailed description of employment opportunities in certain IT companies that you have mentioned because
Kitchener
 is the IT hub. But I am not satisfied with the background history of my
city
 explained in your article.
This
city
 is the largest
city
 within the Grand River watershed which has beautiful attraction sites for tourists. Because it is the perfect blend of trails and water bodies
this
city
 gives the best scenic views in every town.
Also
, you have mentioned the polluted areas of my
city
, I want to correct you,
Kitchener
 is one of the clean cities in Ontario where the air quality index is more sustainable. As I am a native of
Kitchener
 and provide sessions to international students I offer you to join me
this
 weekend for the
city
 tour. I will show you more astonishing facts about
this
city
. I hope you won't mind to join my session. Yours faithfully, Navdeep Kaur
Submitted by knavdeep3011 on

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Structure
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents and develops one central idea. The paragraphs in the letter somewhat blend different topics, making the overall structure less clear.
Task Response
To improve task response, focus more on the specific instructions given in the task. While you did engage with the article mentioned and provided an offer for a tour, consider expanding on each point and providing a more in-depth commentary on the ways your town centre differs from others.
Tone
The greeting and closing are adequate for a formal letter. However, the closing sentence "I hope you won't mind to join my session." could be more formal and clear. Consider revising it to something like, "I hope you will accept my invitation to join me for a city tour."
Tone
A more consistent and formal tone is required for a letter to a newspaper editor. Avoid informal phrases and ensure proper formal letter etiquette is followed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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