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Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
 has a big role in shaping our world, and I think its main goal should really be about making people's
lives
 better. By focusing on improving our health and making everyday life more easy,
science
 can really help humanity.
This
 essay will look at how
science
 can make our well-being and daily experiences better. First of all, scientific research has been a game-changer in healthcare. Thanks to medicines like vaccines and treatments, a lot of diseases that used to be dangerous are now under control.
For instance
, the COVID-19 vaccine was developed fast, and it saved a lot of
lives
 and helped the world get back to normal. When
science
 focuses on health, it makes a big and positive impact on people's
lives
. Another thing is that
science
 makes our daily
lives
 better with new technology. Smartphones and the internet
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, have changed the way we live and work. They make it easier to stay in touch and find information, which improves our quality of life.
Also
, new renewable energy technologies are helping to protect the environment, which is important for our future. In conclusion, I really believe that the main goal of
science
 should be to make people's
lives
 better. Through healthcare and technology,
science
 has the power to make the world a better place. By focusing on human well-being,
science
 can keep pushing progress and make life better for everyone.
Submitted by assiya.nurbergen18 on

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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task and provides relevant examples, but try to expand on your points with more specific details and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical progression and connectivity between ideas. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccine, which support your main points and enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay features a logical structure with distinct paragraphs that each address specific points related to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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