Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Competition
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is common these days among young
people
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. Some
people
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argue that a little
competition
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between peers has many benefits.
This
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essay will discuss both views and show why
competition
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can improve children, and why other
people
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say that"
competition
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should be encouraged"
Competition
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teaches children many things,
such
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as loyalty and patience. Thrive adolescents in an environment like
this
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, can teach them social and mental skills.
As a result
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, as develop the capacity and capability of their
kids
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.
For instance
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, children who share in formal rice at a young age have more sportsmanship than those who do not have any experience like
this
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.
Competition
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has an advantage for young
people
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not just spiritually but
also
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mentally.
On the other hand
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,
people
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who say
competition
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is good for
kids
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, believe that will enhance their performance as much as possible.
For example
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, many schools are organizing competitions in many ways to add fun and some development for their student. and the sense of
competition
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we can find in any kid, so it is a good thing when we divide
this
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in the right place.
To conclude
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,
competition
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is a good thing for young
people
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, it helps
kids
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to enhance their capacity and their performance in the long term.
This
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essay discussed why some
people
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think that it should be encouraged, and why others think
that is
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a good thing.  In my opinion,
competition
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is fundamental in the first years for
kids
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, they can learn some principles when they connect with other peers. and can develop a lot of skills
such
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as altruism and enhance their capacity and performance.
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in the introduction. It should clearly state the two opposing views and your intention to discuss both before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Simplify and clarify sentence structures to improve readability. Avoid overly complex sentences.
task achievement
Expand on each point with more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. Terms like 'however', 'moreover', and 'furthermore' can be useful.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both views on the topic, showing a balanced understanding of the debate.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear central idea, contributing to overall coherence.
task achievement
The conclusion restates the main points in a succinct manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitive spirit
  • real-world experiences
  • self-esteem
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • empathy
  • communication
  • personal and professional relationships
  • personal excellence
  • balanced exposure
  • well-rounded individuals
  • ambitious
  • empathetic
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