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Writing Samples
Band 8

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

#trend #world #couples #children
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There has been an increasing number of people deciding to go on childless marriages.
While
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 it is believed that those husbands and wives will inevitably face social discrimination, I argue that leading a married life without
children
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 would allow them more
time
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 to focus on their careers. On the one hand, couples who choose to lead their marriage lives without
children
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 may face societal pressure and judgment.
This
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 is because it is a status quo that married adults are expected to be able to conceive as many offspring as possible.
For instance
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, in many Asian cultures, people like to live in extended families, and having a lot of
children
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, or even grandchildren would showcase their happiness and success in life.
However
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, I believe success cannot be solely defined by one’s ability to conceive many
children
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. On another hand, having a childless marriage is considered to be beneficial to couples because they can have enough
time
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 to work to achieve their career goals. Without the demand of parenting, individuals can dedicate their
time
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 entirely to their careers, potentially achieving greater professional success.
For example
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, more and more working adults in developed economies,
such
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 as Japan and South Korea, are using long-term contraception methods to avoid getting pregnant so that they can fully focus on their professional jobs.
Thus
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, I believe that it is more important that people can choose the lifestyle they desire rather than lead a life just to please others. In conclusion,
although
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 childless couples might have to face criticism about their decision to not have
children
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, I believe there are numerous advantages that having no child can give them, one of which is the
time
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 to strive for their careers
Submitted by emteeme on

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task achievement
To further enhance your task response, consider elaborating on real-life cases or studies that further underscore the lifestyle and professional benefits of a childless marriage. Including specific data or statistics can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by ensuring all ideas are interconnected seamlessly. While your essay flows well, refining the transitions between points would lead to a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
You presented a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both advantages and disadvantages adequately.
task achievement
Your essay contains specific and relevant examples, such as the practices in Asian cultures and workplace-focused lifestyles in Japan and South Korea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay ensures that your arguments are easily followed, making your points clear and understandable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
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