IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car drivers and cyclists share the same roads, and this can cause problems for both of them. Why is this the case? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Nowadays, it is common to see cars and bicycles travel on the same
road
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.
This
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 may result in a number of undesirable consequences which could be addressed by several approaches explained below. The fact that car
drivers
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 and bikers share the same roadway
while
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 travelling may lead to
two
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 main problems.
First,
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the possibility of an accident between a car and a bicycle is much higher than when they have their own
road
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, and in case of accidents, the mortality rate could
also
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 be greater. Because automobiles are large and able to run very fast, they may kill people when colliding with bikes, which is far more serious than accidents on the street for only bikes.
Second,
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people driving cars would
also
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 be faced with inconveniences when they share the same
road
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 with bicyclists.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of running as fast as possible to an appointment that they are about to be late, car
drivers
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 may have to slow down and wait for some commuter ahead riding a bike at their average speed. In order to deal with
such
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 problems, there are
two
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 solutions that should be taken into consideration. First of all, on roadways that allow both cars and bicycles to travel at the same time, the authorities should strictly limit the maximum speed as low as 50 kph.
While
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 running at
such
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 a low speed,
drivers
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 can better control their vehicle
as well as
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 dodge others, and in the event of
collision
Add an article
a collision
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, the damage would
also
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 be less serious. Second of all, it is necessary for the government to build separate lanes for these
two
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 vehicles so that their different speeds will not bother each other as in
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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 situations.
For example
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, on most streets in Singapore, automobiles and bikes
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 travel simultaneously but there are lanes designated for both of them, so they are able to run at their speed of choice without affecting one another. In conclusion, when cyclists and automobile
drivers
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 share the same
road
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, a couple of issues may arise. Fortunately,
two
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 possible methods have been proposed to solve these issues.

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task and provided clear and comprehensive ideas. However, discussing specific examples and additional relevant details could enhance your response even further. Consider incorporating statistics, personal anecdotes, or references to well-known incidents or solutions from other countries to add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, well-argued body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Noticeably, each point is well-developed and clearly explained. To improve, you might focus on enhancing the flow between sentences with more varied cohesive devices to make the text even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is concise, effectively setting the stage for what is to come in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely sums up the main points of the essay, reiterating the problems and suggesting solutions. This helps to reinforce your argument to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, and each paragraph clearly explains a problem and a solution related to cars and bicycles sharing the road.
task achievement
Your response is complete and clear, addressing both parts of the question in a thoughtful and organized manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • share the same roads
  • cause problems
  • lack of understanding
  • limited infrastructure
  • reckless behavior
  • increased awareness
  • education
  • enforcing traffic laws
  • regulations
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