Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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rime is indeed a serious concern in many societies today, leading to debates about the best approach to mitigate it.
This
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essay will discuss both viewpoints on the issue: one advocating for more action to prevent
crime
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, and the other suggesting that little can be done. Proponents of
this
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view argue that taking more preventive
measures
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can significantly reduce
crime
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rates
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. They believe that increasing police presence, enhancing surveillance systems, and implementing stricter laws can deter potential criminals.
Additionally
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, investing in community programs and educational initiatives can address the root causes of
crime
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,
such
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as poverty, lack of education, and unemployment.
For instance
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, countries with well-funded social services and robust law enforcement often report lower
crime
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rates
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. These advocates assert that proactive
measures
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can create a safer
society
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and prevent crimes before they occur.
On the other hand
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, some people feel that
crime
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is an inevitable part of
society
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and that little can be done to eradicate it completely. They argue that human nature and societal complexities make it impossible to eliminate
crime
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entirely.
For example
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, despite stringent laws and heavy policing, some countries still experience high
crime
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rates
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.
This
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perspective suggests that resources might be better spent on rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders rather than on prevention.
Moreover
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, they believe that focusing too much on
crime
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prevention can lead to the infringement of personal freedoms and privacy, as seen in overly surveilled societies.
While
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it is true that completely eliminating
crime
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may be unrealistic, I believe that taking more action to prevent
crime
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is essential and beneficial. A balanced approach, combining preventive
measures
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with efforts to address underlying social issues, can significantly reduce
crime
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rates
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. Enhancing law enforcement capabilities,
coupled with
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social interventions like education and employment opportunities, can create an environment where
crime
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is less likely to occur.
Additionally
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, focusing on rehabilitation can help prevent recidivism, ensuring that once offenders are reintegrated into
society
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, they are less likely to re-offend. In conclusion,
while
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acknowledging the challenges in completely stopping
crime
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, a proactive and comprehensive strategy that includes both preventive
measures
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and social reforms is crucial for creating a safer and more just
society
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.
Submitted by yusei.nakano on

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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider integrating more specific examples to better support your arguments. Examples from real-life scenarios, studies, or statistical data can provide a stronger foundation for your claims.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, ensure that each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next. Using more transitional phrases can improve the flow and coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, followed by a clear and well-founded opinion. This is crucial for a high band score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, effectively framing your argument. This structure greatly aids readability.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, and the essay maintains a logical progression of ideas, which ensures clarity for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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