IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a friend who just moved into a new house that you are sending a gift to. Include: 1) What the gift is 2) Why you chose it 3) How it will be delivered. Write at least 150 words .

#friend #house #gift
Dear Jane, Hope you're doing well. I'm happy to hear that you've just moved to a new house.
New
Correct article usage
A new
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 apartment
for living
Change preposition
to live
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is
Change preposition
in is
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 always beautiful. My relatives have already bought a new flat too. They
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 a little baby and decided to find something more spacious. On
this
occasion
Add a comma
occasion,
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 I bought a modest gift for you.
This
 is a bed linen for your bedroom. I've chosen
such
present
Correct article usage
a present
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 because it's always necessary at home and
pleased
Wrong verb form
pleases
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for
Change preposition
apply
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every owner. You can use it whenever you want and it'll never be useless. If I could visit you, I would take your gift but I work full time and my vacation won't be soon.
However
, my sister, Emma, lives in the same place and she can deliver it to you. I’d
really
Add a missing verb
be really
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 grateful if you could write
me
Change preposition
to me
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the
Change preposition
about the
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 best time when you are free and ready to get the present from Emma. Write soon. Best wishes, Julia
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using more transitional words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure all sentences contribute explicitly to the main requirements of the task without unnecessary information.
task achievement
The letter includes all required components: the gift (bed linen), why it was chosen, and how it will be delivered.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The letter uses appropriate greetings and a closing paragraph.
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