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Band 3.5

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#feel #country #time #points
In recent years
countries
 that have stronger economies tend to have questionable ethical problems,
On the other hand
, some of them followed important roles to detect pollution impact on Mother Earth. I tend to agree with that statement, and the regulations that have been established are a great start to a friendly
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 with the environment.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the movement towards recycled materials that have little harm to our loved place Mother Earth.
Also
,
countries
 with strong economies can afford to have friendly industrial operations and equipment to reduce
polloshin
Correct your spelling
pollution
,
On the other hand
, weak economic
countries
 don't have the resources to limit the impact on the environment. Another proof is in the research of power the strong economic
countries
 have built nuclear stations that have zero carbon immissions and have been working efficiently ever since with the exception of minor
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 over the years,
Moreover
 the increasing number of the electric car industry and the green movement from
this
 country in shaping the future and looking forward to a healthy sustainable world. in conclusion, a stronger economy comes with responsibility and risk
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
taking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in mind. But
also
 to look at bright future with lesser carbon emethion every day.
Submitted by abood291a on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and gives a balanced discussion of both views. However, it would benefit from a clearer structure. Adding some more specific details or examples would make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of your main points. Some sentences are a bit unclear or grammatically incorrect, which affects the overall comprehensibility.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. For instance, use more transitional words or phrases to connect your ideas logically and ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider strengthening your conclusion. Summarize your main points succinctly and clearly restate your opinion.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument and provided your opinion.
task achievement
Your conclusion addresses the main points and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your discussion includes some relevant examples and evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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