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Band 6.5

Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #activities #companies #benefit #economies #countries #multinationals
Individuals argue that the global programs in some multinational
companies
 are good for the economies of
countries
' development,
while
 others think they are harmful. I agree with the former. I tend to support the view that large multinational
companies
 can promote the development of
countries
.
To begin
 with, globalization has already become a trend which is necessary for all
countries
, since different
countries
 have different strengths, like German cars, American AI, and Chinese production, trade between different
countries
 can provide more choices for the public, developing better life quality and earning more money. Another key consideration should be that, with the development of global trade, providing a lot of jobs can help
countries
' economies and stability. Understandably, there are several reasons why people may argue that multinational
companies
' activities are harmful. The first reason they may point out is that since every country has different laws,
for instance
, some
countries
 can use drugs in their food, if
this
 kind of food goes to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country which not allow drugs in food by multinational
companies
 trade, it will cause big problems.
In addition
, if a country relies on other
countries
' productions so much, it will cut down their own ability to research.
However
, as far as I am concerned, there
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
 many laws to protect the security of international activity so illegal activities,
such
 as human trafficking and drug trafficking, which
want
Verb problem
are
show examples
 through multinational
companies
 can be banned.
Overall
,
while
 in some ways it may seem reasonable that large multinationals are harmful, I personally believe that it could help
countries
 to develop their economies, technology and so on.
Submitted by yihualuo525 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, aim to use more signposting phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your task response is generally strong, addressing both views and providing an opinion. To improve, try to incorporate more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
While you provide several good points, make sure each argument is clearly developed and supported. It would be beneficial to elaborate more on how multinational companies create job opportunities and drive innovation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by addressing both points of view before presenting your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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