IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Air pollution is one of the largest problems the world is facing today. What are some causes of air pollution and what measures can be proposed to solve this problem?

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One of the biggest problems that the world is facing today is
air
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pollution
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.
Air
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pollution
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 has many negative impacts
for
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on
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human
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humans
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, plants, and animals. The most possible
reasons
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reason
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of
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for
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this
Linking Words
 is the
massiv
Correct your spelling
massive
 of using private
vehicles
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. Because of that, a solution that can
handle
Verb problem
be implemented
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 is by encouraging
people
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 to
use
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 public
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transportations
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transport
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. First of all,
people
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 are more
engage
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engaged
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to
Change preposition
in using
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use
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 their own cars or
motorcycle
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motorcycles
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 than public
vehicles
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. By using private
vehicles
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, the quality of
air
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 will decrease continuously and it is a bad thing for health.
For example
Linking Words
, Jakarta become the first rank of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 that has bad
air
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pollution
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if
Correct word choice
apply
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compares
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to other countries. The reason is
due to
Linking Words
 lack of total public
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transportations
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transportation
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, the citizens have to wait for a long time for busses to come, and many more. It can be seen that problems like these make
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lazy to
use
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 public
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 and eventually make
air
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pollutin
Correct your spelling
pollution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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worse. I propose to the government to think about how to make
people
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 more interested in using public
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transportations
Replace the word
transport
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 to lower
air
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pollution
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.
This
Linking Words
 thing can happen if the government makes some
improvement
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improvements
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,
such
Linking Words
 as adding facilities in public
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
, refurbishing stations and terminals, expanding the routes, and many more
like
Replace the word
as
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 China did. By
this
Linking Words
,
people
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 will feel more enjoy to
use
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 public
transportations
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 to anywhere. So that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
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pollution
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 can be solved.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the largest reason why
air
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pollution
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 become worse is the
accelaration
Correct your spelling
acceleration
 of using private
vehicles
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.
However
Linking Words
, there is a solution to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue by making public
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 more interesting to
use
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Expand on the causes of air pollution beyond just the use of private vehicles. Mention industrial emissions, deforestation, and other contributing factors.
task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. For instance, mention how other cities or countries have successfully reduced air pollution.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and includes supporting details. This will help improve coherence and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to better connect your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
The essay addresses a significant global issue and proposes a viable solution, which shows clear task achievement.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in coherence.
task response
The recommendation for improving public transport includes several practical suggestions, which adds depth to the response.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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