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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

#celebrations #festivals #countries #theses #people #governments #money
I do not care, In recent , pandemic times science came up with a lot of innovations, in which, they improved people's health through medicines and homemade remedies. To more extent, I agree with the given statement. Commencing with the most prominent reason, in today's modern era, numerous people are following habitual lifestyle, from eating, drinking to sleeping routine which is scourage for themself.
Although
, they are cognizant of that,
however
, individuals are
also
 aware that science has the solution to all
this
 stuff. The reason all of them are stress-free and doctors are working harder and harder every single day to enhance their knowledge in advancement.
For example
, In the early 21st century pandemic occurred and became a curse in many human beings' lives.
Therefore
, at that period doctors and scientists worked really hard and got the solution for the disease. Another reason why I stand with the statement
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 science always promotes a vigorous lifestyle for civilians to stay healthy.
For example
, dietary physicians always suggest having a diet with no added sugar . In that, to keep the body young and active for the long run. In conclusion, even though unlawful acts do not seem conducive to society, I think elderly people should stay more energetic by avoiding junk food. Good morning I will be able and can be used a
while
 back to you by any chance of getting to know you have a great day and
then
 we have to do it and
then
 you will be able to get the latest and greatest love is the best way for you to have a good day for a few days to get the latest news is the best thing to do that in the future is that a good thing I can do
this
 and I will be a little.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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introduction
The essay starts with a vague and off-topic sentence in your introduction. Try to create a clear, concise introduction that directly addresses the prompt and states your position.
main argument
The arguments you've mentioned are somewhat relevant but don't directly address the topic of public celebrations and their expenses. Go back to the main question and ensure all main points relate to whether government spending on public celebrations is justified or not.
conclusion
Your conclusion needs to be more cohesive and provide a summary of your main points without introducing new, irrelevant information. Focus on reflecting what has been discussed.
examples
You have provided one or two examples that add some relevance to your points. Continue to use examples to illustrate your arguments, but ensure they are directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • economic boost
  • local economies
  • social cohesion
  • national unity
  • educational value
  • government spending
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • national identity
  • community
  • tourists
  • social harmony
  • historical significance
  • younger generation
What to do next:
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