Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some would argue that the state is wasting money on supporting artists which is a waste of resources which could be used somewhere else.

While

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supporting talent is a good way to go for a developing country, I believe there are many other priorities where

lives

Use synonyms

can be saved and should be focused on first to use any amount. On the one hand, for a thriving nation, the state is responsible for increasing talent among people to make their country proud. Artists go the extra mile their whole

lives

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to be famous and they need support from the government to be in a position where they can achieve success.

For example

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, India reinforces every talent possible, no matter if it is acting or singing, and they have already achieved their goal and now the whole world knows Bollywood for its creativity and music.

However

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, I believe that

this

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amount which is invested every year in movies by the administration can help to give shelter and food to many people.

On the other hand

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, many

lives

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can be saved just by using a little amount. Each year hundreds of farmers suicide because the administration ignores their needs. their day-to-day survival is very hard, they can't even afford one meal for their family, because, they have to pay the heavy loans they took from banks at high interest rates for cultivating their lands.

For example

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, In India, for many farmers, it is very hard to survive these days because they are not being paid enough for their products and the government is not focussing on

this

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matter so it is easy for them to die rather than pay heavy loans. I believe that

this

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type of situation can be easily handled if they focus on

this

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first because they are feeding a whole nation.

To conclude

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Although

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reinforcing artists can make a country popular,

however

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, the

farmer

Fix the agreement mistake

farmers

show examples

needs and poverty should be focused on first to save

lives

Use synonyms

MKFri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Work on developing and elaborating your main points further to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and to express your ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Practice using complex sentence structures and a variety of linking words to improve cohesion.

task achievement

Clear and concise introduction and conclusion that address the essay question.

task achievement

Relevant examples provided to support the arguments, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure with identifiable paragraphs that each focus on a single main point.

coherence cohesion

Good attempt at transitioning between paragraphs and maintaining a flow in the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
culture
creativity
economic growth
tourism
social development
personal development
merit
financial support
balanced
transparent

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Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

To conclude, having too many toys will help the children to grow faster but it will have drawbacks which need to be antisipated.

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?