Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music
, a powerful tool that transcends cultural and age boundaries, is the focus of
this
essay. I firmly believe that it is a suitable way to bring
people
from various cultures and ages together, and I will present my point of view on
this
matter. The fundamental idea underlying
this
perspective is that
music
is a universal language.
Consequently
, individuals do not require an understanding of the lyrics, enabling
people
from all corners of the globe to connect through
music
without encountering any barriers. Whether it is the rhythm or the lyrics, the basis for admiring a song can effortlessly align the two. Concerts serve as a gathering ground where
this
unity can be experienced.
Furthermore
, as humans naturally seek communication,
music
offers
this
opportunity.
For instance
, singing and dancing to
music
at social gatherings can facilitate the formation of friendships. There is no age limit to the impact of
music
.
People
of all ages can be drawn to the same
music
.
For instance
, a friend's five-year-old sister enjoys the same
music
as her grandfather does. It is heartwarming to see them bond over dancing and singing together.
This
demonstrates how
music
can connect
people
across generations. Musical festivals and events are
also
inclusive, recognizing that
music
is a universal language that touches the heart and soul, creating lasting memories for everyone. In conclusion, without understanding the meaning of
music
's lyrics,
people
can easily connect with it.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that different backgrounds and ages are not obstacles to connecting through
music
.
Submitted by sarataklimi89 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the idea of how music specifically functions as a universal language, perhaps with more diverse examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide a smoother transition between the points on cultural unity and generational unity. This will help in maintaining a cohesive flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Excellent use of an effective introduction and conclusion, which clearly present and summarize the main points of your argument.
supported main points
The essay provides strong and relevant examples that support the main arguments effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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