Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Music

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, a powerful tool that transcends cultural and age boundaries, is the focus of

this

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essay. I firmly believe that it is a suitable way to bring

people

Use synonyms

from various cultures and ages together, and I will present my point of view on

this

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matter. The fundamental idea underlying

this

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perspective is that

music

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is a universal language.

Consequently

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, individuals do not require an understanding of the lyrics, enabling

people

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from all corners of the globe to connect through

music

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without encountering any barriers. Whether it is the rhythm or the lyrics, the basis for admiring a song can effortlessly align the two. Concerts serve as a gathering ground where

this

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unity can be experienced.

Furthermore

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, as humans naturally seek communication,

music

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offers

this

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opportunity.

For instance

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, singing and dancing to

music

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at social gatherings can facilitate the formation of friendships. There is no age limit to the impact of

music

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People

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of all ages can be drawn to the same

music

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For instance

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, a friend's five-year-old sister enjoys the same

music

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as her grandfather does. It is heartwarming to see them bond over dancing and singing together.

This

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demonstrates how

music

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can connect

people

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across generations. Musical festivals and events are

also

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inclusive, recognizing that

music

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is a universal language that touches the heart and soul, creating lasting memories for everyone. In conclusion, without understanding the meaning of

music

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's lyrics,

people

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can easily connect with it.

Therefore

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, I strongly believe that different backgrounds and ages are not obstacles to connecting through

music

Use synonyms

Submitted by sarataklimi89 on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on the idea of how music specifically functions as a universal language, perhaps with more diverse examples.

coherence cohesion

Try to provide a smoother transition between the points on cultural unity and generational unity. This will help in maintaining a cohesive flow of ideas.

introduction conclusion present

Excellent use of an effective introduction and conclusion, which clearly present and summarize the main points of your argument.

supported main points

The essay provides strong and relevant examples that support the main arguments effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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