Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Music

, a powerful tool that transcends cultural and age boundaries, is the focus of

this

essay. I firmly believe that it is a suitable way to bring

people

from various cultures and ages together, and I will present my point of view on

this

matter. The fundamental idea underlying

this

perspective is that

music

is a universal language.

Consequently

, individuals do not require an understanding of the lyrics, enabling

people

from all corners of the globe to connect through

music

without encountering any barriers. Whether it is the rhythm or the lyrics, the basis for admiring a song can effortlessly align the two. Concerts serve as a gathering ground where

this

unity can be experienced.

Furthermore

, as humans naturally seek communication,

music

offers

this

opportunity.

For instance

, singing and dancing to

music

at social gatherings can facilitate the formation of friendships. There is no age limit to the impact of

music

People

of all ages can be drawn to the same

music

For instance

, a friend's five-year-old sister enjoys the same

music

as her grandfather does. It is heartwarming to see them bond over dancing and singing together.

This

demonstrates how

music

can connect

people

across generations. Musical festivals and events are

also

inclusive, recognizing that

music

is a universal language that touches the heart and soul, creating lasting memories for everyone. In conclusion, without understanding the meaning of

music

's lyrics,

people

can easily connect with it.

Therefore

, I strongly believe that different backgrounds and ages are not obstacles to connecting through

music

Submitted by sarataklimi89 on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on the idea of how music specifically functions as a universal language, perhaps with more diverse examples.

coherence cohesion

Try to provide a smoother transition between the points on cultural unity and generational unity. This will help in maintaining a cohesive flow of ideas.

introduction conclusion present

Excellent use of an effective introduction and conclusion, which clearly present and summarize the main points of your argument.

supported main points

The essay provides strong and relevant examples that support the main arguments effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Many local languages are dying out due to the rise of languages like English. Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?