The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

It is thought that art
skills
such
as music, and theatre all have their own importance in
this
contemporary era. I believe that these
skills
are still alive and used to get profit in
this
competitive world. I
also
think that including
arts
subjects
in the school syllabus will benefit students immensely.
To begin
with the former point, it is undeniable that
arts
, music and theatre can be excluded from our modern life.
For example
, a survey conducted by the United States that a large number of people spend most of their time watching TV shows and web series to entertain themselves, and few people enjoy watching sports,
therefore
,
this
means artistic
skills
are important in our daily life and it can not be neglected.
Also
, people who have artistic
skills
are earning more money and extending their business by selling craft products,
this
proves that these types of
skills
are undeniable in
this
current time.
However
, I believe that these types of
subjects
must be included in the school syllabus because pupils can get a lot of advantages from
arts
subjects
.
For instance
, these
subjects
sharpen students' minds,
thus
, they solve their everyday problems easily.
Additionally
, they are
also
encouraged to communicate emotions in a constructive manner at a young age with the help of
arts
subjects
. Ultimately, learning
arts
entertains young children and gives them an opportunity to relax after studying difficult
subjects
. In conclusion, I think artistic
subjects
can not be replaced in
this
modern world
due to
their benefits to the communities
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
exposure to
this
curriculum will teach pupils how to tackle predicaments in everyday life and students will
also
learn communication
skills
.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. However, try to ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more balanced in length and complexity.
coherence cohesion
You can enhance coherence by using more varied and sophisticated linking phrases. A more systematic approach with subheadings might also help.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both parts of the question, showing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and articulate, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas in your essay, making it easy to follow your argument.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetics
  • Cultural heritage
  • Empathy
  • Creativity
  • Expression
  • Innovation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Empathy
  • Fine motor skills
  • Well-rounded education
  • Accessibility
  • Preservation
  • Screen-centered
  • Storytelling
  • Balance
  • Artistic mediums
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!