The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

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It is thought that art
skills
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such
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as music, and theatre all have their own importance in
this
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contemporary era. I believe that these
skills
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are still alive and used to get profit in
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competitive world. I
also
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think that including
arts
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subjects
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in the school syllabus will benefit students immensely.
To begin
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with the former point, it is undeniable that
arts
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, music and theatre can be excluded from our modern life.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the United States that a large number of people spend most of their time watching TV shows and web series to entertain themselves, and few people enjoy watching sports,
therefore
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,
this
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means artistic
skills
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are important in our daily life and it can not be neglected.
Also
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, people who have artistic
skills
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are earning more money and extending their business by selling craft products,
this
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proves that these types of
skills
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are undeniable in
this
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current time.
However
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, I believe that these types of
subjects
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must be included in the school syllabus because pupils can get a lot of advantages from
arts
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subjects
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.
For instance
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, these
subjects
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sharpen students' minds,
thus
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, they solve their everyday problems easily.
Additionally
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, they are
also
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encouraged to communicate emotions in a constructive manner at a young age with the help of
arts
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subjects
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. Ultimately, learning
arts
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entertains young children and gives them an opportunity to relax after studying difficult
subjects
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. In conclusion, I think artistic
subjects
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can not be replaced in
this
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modern world
due to
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their benefits to the communities
and
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apply
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exposure to
this
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curriculum will teach pupils how to tackle predicaments in everyday life and students will
also
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learn communication
skills
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.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. However, try to ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more balanced in length and complexity.
coherence cohesion
You can enhance coherence by using more varied and sophisticated linking phrases. A more systematic approach with subheadings might also help.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both parts of the question, showing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and articulate, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas in your essay, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetics
  • Cultural heritage
  • Empathy
  • Creativity
  • Expression
  • Innovation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Empathy
  • Fine motor skills
  • Well-rounded education
  • Accessibility
  • Preservation
  • Screen-centered
  • Storytelling
  • Balance
  • Artistic mediums
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