Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #drawings #subjects #school #education

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Painting and drawing are fun activities that some people enjoy and others do not. In my opinion, I think that

this

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subject is necessary for youngsters to have and it should be mandatory. In

this

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essay, I will be discussing the reasons behind my statement.

First,

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subjects like art can help raise the GPA of the students. It is well known that secondary schoolers are in need of high grades in order to get allocated to college.

While

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some subjects

such

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as math or science are hard and can decrease their GPA, arts and sports can be easy subjects. To illustrate, when I was in 12th grade, I took painting as an elective and I got 95 on it.

As a result

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, my GPA went a bit higher than what it was.

Second,

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it aids in mental health. Numerous studies have demonstrated the effect of

such

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activity on brain functions. It was illustrated that people who use it regularly as a kind of mindfulness practice, have a decent short memory and concentration.

For instance

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, there is a type of drawing called Mandala

that is

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connected to mental wellbeing. It sold as coloring books and what makes these drawings special is that they need precision when done.

Thus

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, the mind focuses on the activity and they have a more clear mind when they are studying for their tests.

To conclude

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, art should be an obligatory class and

that is

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because of its effect on the brain and the total marks of the learners.

Submitted by amanihejji on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay adequately covers the topic, but ensure that all points are fully developed. This could include more depth on how making art mandatory impacts students who may not have an interest or talent in it.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between your ideas. While your ideas are generally clear, more sophisticated linking could help.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that provide a framework for your essay.

task achievement

Your essay makes good use of relevant examples to support your main points.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

artistic expression
communication
self-expression
creativity
critical thinking skills
cultural appreciation
understanding
therapeutic benefits
mental well-being
career opportunities

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