IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

traffic jam is a problem in many cities and towns, To solve this problem, some suggest building underground railway, while others suggest expanding the road. Which one do you think is the best way?

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The global urbanization has been affecting most cities in the world. Many people prefer to live in a big city in order to get a well-paid job and a career. The tendency to move from rural areas to the cities has changed the infrastructure and caused some issues around
road
Use synonyms
 facilities. In my essay, I will talk about the solutions to improve the situation with
traffic
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 conjunctions - to build a new
road
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 or a metro. In my opinion, any decision, which can be made towards resolving
traffic
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 jams on the
road
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, will work out effectively.
Firstly
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, to build a new metro will be enormously expensive for the government, but more sufficient for people.
Moreover
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, an underground has some particular benefits
such
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 as a perfect system with the exact timetable. Saying that dwellers can rely on the subway and never be late for work or an important meeting.
Furthermore
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, the metro will reduce
traffic
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 on the roads, because fewer people will use cars.
Consequently
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, the construction of the tube is beneficial for the modern society.
On the other hand
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, as I mentioned above, building the underground costs money. As an alternative, with less financial investment, the state can expand the
road
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 system which will help decrease the
traffic
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 conjunction.
Although
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 the idea of building more roads can be beneficial for drivers the fact that increasing number of cars will lead to environmental pollution.
Thus
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, the government must take into account the fact of increasing carbon emissions with the growth of cars.
To sum up
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, any plan to reduce
traffic
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 jams will definitely work for the general public. But, before making a decision the state should think about the consequences for the environment and try to keep a balance between human convenience and
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of nature.

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Task Response
Continue presenting your arguments with balanced viewpoints to provide a comprehensive discussion. This adds depth to your essays.
Task Response
Remember to explore both sides of the argument thoroughly before arriving at your conclusion, enhancing your essays' comprehensiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas and paragraphs. This contributes to the flow and clarity of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Employ a range of sentence structures to create a more engaging and dynamic essay.
Task Achievement
You have managed to provide a balanced view by discussing both suggested solutions before stating your preference, which is excellent for your task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each point of view, and a succinct conclusion. This great organization greatly helps in achieving coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples and detailed reasoning to support your points significantly strengthens your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively sums up the discussion and reaffirms your stance, showcasing a strong ability to close an argument logically and persuasively.
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