Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There have been debates about whether external factors
besides
families are the most influential towards children's growth. This
essay will argue that family's part in a child's development
is more relevant than other factors.
Outside the home
activities can play a big part in a youngster's intuitive Add a hyphen
Outside-the-home
development
. Moreover
, there is so much to explore that can stimulate a youth's brain. Playing outside with things that they cannot find inside their house will add more knowledge to kids. Subsequently
, it is very much suggested to find a decent environment
for children from an early age.
However
, support from their inner circle is much more needed for a child's growth. By having the right support system and role models around them, they can develop positive abilities, physically and mentally. With that being said, the things that are important are not just to pick the nice outside environment
for them, but to make the perfect environment
inside the house is the most crucial thing for their development
.
In addition
, there have been a few examples regarding this
matter. Researchers said, kids that who have a so-called "happy family" tend to get better grades and attitudes considering that they are built to be good people inside and out. Whereas
, children who come from a "broken family" tend to have a negative attitude and are hard to control even though their parents put them in the best school.
In conclusion, I think external elements in a child's development
could be considered as an important things
to care about, but building a nice Correct the article-noun agreement
an important thing
important things
environment
in the house that they live in would consequently
have the biggest influence towards the youth.Submitted by Selectnames
on
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coherence cohesion
Try to strengthen your introduction by clearly stating the stance you will take and outlining the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are developed in more depth, providing clearer and more detailed examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument and reinforces your stance.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument, making your position on the topic evident.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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