some people think that zoos are crual and should be close down.others believe that zoos are useful in different ways. discuss both views and give your opinion?
minority believe
zoos
are rude and that has to be closed down. majority
think Add an article
the majority
a majority
zoos
are very important. I agree with this
statement. I mention it because some zoos
do not treat animals
better as well as
small zoos
have a high capacity of
Change preposition
for
animals
which damages their freedom a
but some Correct article usage
apply
zoos
protect endangered animals
as well as
the students can very easily research them and we can see animals
from other countries in one
place.
some people are
say Unnecessary verb
apply
zoos
should be closed down. yes, It has some reason. one
reason is some zoos
do not treat for
Change preposition
apply
animals
.For example
, they do not clean their cages and they don't feed them properly as well as
they don't care about animals
. one
more reason is some small zoos
have a high capacity of animals
which damages their freedom. therefore
animals
are more likely to die.
some people believe zoos
are very important and useful. yes, it is correct . why am I saying so I told you. We get a lot of benefits from it.if one
of them zoos
can protect endangered animals
so we can see those animals
. another adventure is the student can very easily research them Therefore
, there is no need to search for animals
in the forest. another adventure is we can see animals
from other contries
in Correct your spelling
countries
one
place therefore
people don't want to spend money.
according to
the given justifications in the first and second paragraph
, you can believe about statement Fix the agreement mistake
paragraphs
true
or false. Add a missing verb
is true
finally
I would like to say we must protect Add a comma
finally,
animals
.Submitted by induwarausith50 on
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task achievement
The essay does address both views on zoos and provides an opinion. However, the essay needs a clearer structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Try to introduce the topic, discuss both views in separate paragraphs, and then conclude with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on using connectors and transitions more effectively to guide the reader through your essay. This will enhance the logical flow and make your arguments more coherent. For example, use phrases like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' 'Therefore,' etc.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This adds credibility to your arguments and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, mention specific zoos that have successfully protected endangered species or provided educational benefits.
general
Improve sentence structure and grammar. The essay has several grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading and practice will help improve the overall clarity and readability of your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The essay makes an effort to support its points with reasons and some examples, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.