IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: &Explain which course you are interested in. &Say what you know about the university. &Explain why you should receive the scholarship.

#scholarship #program #study #university #course #&explain #&say
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Dear Madam/ Sir , I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to get some information about a cosmetology program at your university. I am eager to apply for
this
 course at your place because I have a keen interest in hair and skin care so I think
this
 course will be helpful for me to continue my interest.I tried finding
this
 program at other colleges but could not get it. I heard from one of my best friends that your university is number one in the whole of Canada and student comes from different countries to study here. I
also
 know that the university provides scholarships to intelligent pupils.
moreover
, I want to apply for
this
 scholarship program because of my excellent academic performance.I always got good results from my starting classes until now. I believe I might be an ideal candidate for a scholarship.It will be helpful for me to save some money. Thank you so much in advance i will be waiting for your response. Yours sincerely , Jaspreet
Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent spacing and format throughout the letter for a more professional appearance.
task achievement
You could provide more specific details about your achievements and how they align with the scholarship criteria.
task achievement
The letter clearly addresses all parts of the task: the course of interest, information about the university, and reasons for being a suitable scholarship candidate.
task achievement
The tone is polite and appropriate for an inquiry about a scholarship.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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