some universities and making sports aa a mandatory module to reduce the rate of obesity, to what extent do you agree?

#universities #sports #aa #module #rate #obesity

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It is generally agreed that physical training subject should be compulsory for

students

by institutes in order to decrease the amount of obesity.I unequivocally agree with

this

statement as it plays a major role in schooling and health for scholars. Having

sports

courses in college ensures to minimum rate of fatness for

students

and assists in their studies because nowadays majority of

students

are addicted to gaming as they play for entertainment

outdoors

Change the word

outdoor

show examples

activity.

As a result

, they have become the victim of procrastination and increased fat on their body.

Furthermore

, in order to overcome

this

issue , colleges must introduce

sports

education to their curriculum .

Due to

this

, they will be aware of the harmful effects of laziness and it will enable them to perform outdoor games.

Consequently

, Scholars will acquire positivity about their academics and feel fresh

while

they are taking lectures in class.

Moreover

, the other reason for being an obligatory

sports

subject in an institute is essential for the health of

students

since health is substantially important for every human being because it keeps us fit and strong ,physically

as well as

mentally.

Moreover

, in

this

era of globalisation, the young generation prefers junk food

instead

of a balanced diet

while

they are out with their friends .

However

, it is extremely unhealthy for their body and it will lead them to get heavy fat.

Hence

, if they learn about physical science, it will guide them , not to consume fast food.

Additionally

, it encouraged them towards a nutritious diet and exercise.

For example

, a survey is conducted which states that

students

who are healthy, have a subject regarding

sports

in their syllabus. In conclusion ,

sports

modules should be mandatory in class for

students

in each branch of schools since scholars will be healthy and intelligent in their lives

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and several supporting details. Aim for clarity and depth in each of your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance readability and flow.

task achievement

Introduce real-life examples or data to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples make your points more convincing and relatable.

coherence and cohesion

Review and correct grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Clear and correct language use significantly impacts the coherence and overall quality of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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some universities and making sports aa a mandatory module to reduce the rate of obesity, to what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the government should invest in trains and subway system to prevent traffic congestion in large cities. Others, however, think it should build wider roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadayys, a growing number of people with heatlh problems are trying an alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some peple think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and guve your own opinions.

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?