It is expected to have more age population in future

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It is undeniable that with the advancement in medicine, life expectancy has considerably increased
due to
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which the older generation
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
show examples
the younger
people
Use synonyms
in many parts of the world. In my opinion, it is a positive
as well as
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negative development and the reasons behind will be explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, there are several advantages of having an aged public.
Firstly
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, both ageing and experience are parallel concepts, so they must have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom which contributes a lot to the well-being of society.
Also
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, with the help of their mentorship and better decision-making skills, they definitely work for the betterment of the community.
Apart from
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this
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, in many countries, old
people
Use synonyms
play a crucial role in providing support to their families. They,
for example
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, can look after children which allows parents to concentrate on their professional growth.
Moreover
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,
while
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playing with their grandchildren, they
also
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pass their expertise and knowledge to them.
As a result
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, it helps them in becoming a person with great manners.
However
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, the increasing number of elderly denizens can
also
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bring problems.
Initially
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, they are more likely to be a burden on the government because owing to their condition, they can strain public healthcare systems and pension schemes, potentially leading to higher taxes and reduced services for all as most of the governmental institutes try to promote hospitals and age care facilities for them which indicate more pressure on young
people
Use synonyms
for paying high taxes.
Therefore
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, the younger workforce feels stress and might face challenges in maintaining economic growth, forcing them to adapt by automating more jobs or encouraging immigration.
To conclude
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,
although
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elder
people
Use synonyms
provide us with great life lessons and motivate us to go
further
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in our lives, they
also
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put high pressure on taxpayers because they
also
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have healthcare amenities in abundance.
Hence
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, it is necessary to maintain a balance between both populations.
Submitted by k7jassu on

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coherence cohesion
Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy. Some ideas are repeated, which can dilute the impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are closely tied back to the main thesis. This helps to maintain a strong focus throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the central argument well.
task achievement
Each main point is supported with examples, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the topic, addressing both positive and negative aspects of an ageing population.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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