Nowadays, many people communicate using social media and the Internet on a daily basis. However, this led to an increase in online attacks and cyberbullying. What are some of the reasons why people take part in cyberbullying? What are the effects on children and teenagers who are victims of cyberbullying? - at least 250 words. - spend around 40 minutes.

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This
era belongs to a few technological advancements. Owing to
this
, the ways of communication have changed a lot, especially with the evolution of the internet,
people
are using it in every aspect of life on
day to day
Correct your spelling
a day-to-day
show examples
basis.
However
, a few
people
are using the
cyber space
Correct your spelling
cyberspace
show examples
to bully others by passing bad comments on the content uploaded by other
users
.
This
essay will try to
elaborates
Wrong verb form
elaborate
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
causes and effects of
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
.
To begin
with, first and foremost,
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
behind bullying is that
people
feel jealous of each other. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
influencers have millions of followers and in order to, de-mean them their opponents pass bad comments on their posts.
Secondly
,
people
find
this
activity amusing. Indeed, just to have a little fun and to please
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
ego,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
users
use
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
as a tool.
On the other hand
, it has a number of bad effects, especially on the psychology of young and teenage subscribers.
Firstly
, they may face serious health issues like depression and anxiety, which itself is a
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
situation.
For example
,
according to
a survey, about 30%
young
Change preposition
of young
show examples
ones feel depressed because they were
bullyed
Correct your spelling
bullied
on social
media
by other
users
.
Secondly
, they
does
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do
show examples
not feel related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because victims feel as if every person around them will speak
bad
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badly
show examples
about them and they start
loosing
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losing
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faith in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societal norms and values. In order to, stop
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
a few steps can be taken. Most importantly, social
media
platforms should block the accounts of the
people
, who take part in
cyber
abuse. Adding more to it, criminal laws must be coined against the offenders to penalize them.
To sum up
, one of the reasons behind
cyber
abuse is rivalries and playing with
people
's
psychy
Correct your spelling
psyche
, which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
young
users
badly. Now, it is high time to introduce restraints against
this
act.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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Grammatical Accuracy
Make sure to carefully edit your essay to correct grammatical errors, such as "elaborates" to "elaborate," and "play with people's psychy" to "play with people's psychology."
Specificity
Use more precise examples to strengthen your main points. The essay would benefit from more specific instances of cyberbullying effects and methods to combat it.
Task Achievement
Work on elaborating ideas more fully in each paragraph. Include supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
Task Response
Your essay acknowledges the main causes of cyberbullying and its effects, which shows a solid understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
Language Use
The language used in your essay generally conveys your ideas clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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