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Band 7.5

People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#people #city #lives #change #times #trend
Most
people
 reside in the same surroundings from birth to death in the old times,
however
,
people
 nowadays frequently move to different locations to live. I am appealed to the idea of being able to dwell in various environments. I think it is
due to
 the invention of transportation and the advancement of the Internet.
Firstly
, transportation enables us to relocate effortlessly and efficiently. We used to walk or ride bicycles in ancient times, which took a lot of time and energy.
Nonetheless
, with the emergence of cars, we can travel longer distances and save more physical energy.
Moreover
, planes take us to
further
 places, where we used to spend months or even years to reach. Transportation offers us efficiency and easiness of moving.
Secondly
, the development of the Internet simplifies the way we explore new places and gives us courage.
For example
, we can use translation tools on mobile phones to communicate in different spoken languages.
Furthermore
, online navigation prevents us from getting lost in unfamiliar cities.
This
 makes our move simple and it removes our worries and fears about the unknown places that we have never been to,
hence
, we have less fear to explore. Some individuals may dislike
this
 trend because they see it as an unstable way of life.
Nevertheless
, I reckon
this
 a good opportunity to broaden our vision by understanding new cultures, knowing different
people
 and appreciating diverse sceneries. In brief, I believe that having lives that live in different locations is a plus for
people
 in their lifetime.
Submitted by wendy190427 on

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task achievement
For higher scores, provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific apps or tools for translation and navigation.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'additionally,' 'furthermore,' and 'therefore.'
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the causes and the evaluation of the trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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