IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The world needs an organization to create laws that would be the same everywhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, there has been a considerable debate on law
similarity
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 across the globe
due to
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 the diverse perspectives within society. On the one hand, establishing variable
laws
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 in the world is widely supported.
On the other hand
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, the same
laws
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 in the world have gained significant attention. I believe that based on cultural differences and values systems in
countries
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,
similarity
Use synonyms
 in all
laws
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 is not applicable but in certain common
laws
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, it should be done.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both views and will conclude with my opinion.
To begin
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 with, proponents of the first viewpoint argue that
people
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 only respect the
laws
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 that are adapted to their religion, culture, and values.
Therefore
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,
laws
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 should differ in each nation
due to
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 their cultural differences.
For example
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, in Muslim
countries
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 definitely,
laws
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 are established based on religious rules and their
laws
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 should be different to other
countries
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.
This
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 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 differences between
people
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 in the
countries
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 worldwide should be addressed.
Conversely
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, some
people
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 present their own set of reasons regarding the
similarity
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 of
laws
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 in
countries
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 which deserve consideration. They believe
people
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 across the globe are human and
laws
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 which are related to humanities should be the same.
This
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 particularly is significant because of globalization;
people
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 can live in different places and when
laws
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 are the same, they are familiar with
laws
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.
Thus
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, the
similarity
Use synonyms
 of
laws
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 is helpful these days. In conclusion,
however
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 establishing the same
laws
Use synonyms
 has some advocates, and some
people
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 believe in different
laws
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 in the world. I believe it is not applicable to have the same
laws
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 in all aspects in all
countries
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. But it some issues
such
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 as driving rules, the
laws
Use synonyms
 can be the same.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity and specificity of your examples. Try incorporating more relevant examples to illustrate your points better.
task achievement
Focus on elaborating more comprehensively on each point raised in your essay. This will help in delivering clear and comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the main thesis and maintains cohesion with other paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with a clear introduction and conclusion, provides a good framework for the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
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