IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that all popular TV programmes should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #tv #programmes #aim #viewers
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in the concurrent era, there are heated arguments over the issue of awareness of social issues. The majority of society believes that TV programs should raise the social issue to educate the community. I agree with
this
 statement. the following paragraph highlights my perspectives which will lead to a logical conclusion. From the twenty century, television was the only source to engage the world with each other.
However
, multiple
channels
 show different content from
time
 to
time
. Nowadays, many popular
channels
 show many things because any generation of individuals prefers to spend their leisure
time
 on it. So, programs should teach helpful things like the history of ancient Egyptian, the habitat of animals, the source of pollution, and the exploration of space.
Furthermore
, reality shows teach about those activities that spread positivity not negativity. Broadcast
channels
 cannot teach about crime and hacking because it directly affects the mind.
For example
, in the Google survey, children learn from the program by cartoons or geography of animals. probing ahead, they
also
 encourage the public to use water wisely.
Moreover
, they focused on educating tenors, so families spend their
time
 sitting together and learning together.
For instance
, geography
channels
 teach about the habitat and life of animals. Governments make rules for TV shows that they spread positive aspects and prohibit information about crime and hacking. to recapitulate, for the aforementioned reasons, spreading positivity increases productivity to learning about things.
while
 the specific type of content should be shared that will help to know about the world./
Submitted by alviusman18 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear point of view and addresses the question comprehensively. However, the ideas could be developed further for greater clarity and impact. Aim to expand on each point with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs, making your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, strive to make them more impactful. Your introduction should succinctly introduce the main ideas you will discuss, and your conclusion should effectively summarize these points and reinforce your argument.
task achievement
You effectively address the topic, providing relevant examples and explanations to support your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your inclusion of specific examples, such as the Google survey, adds credibility to your essay and makes your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs that each focus on a specific point. This enhances the readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Influence public opinion
  • Viewer engagement
  • Desensitization
  • Social consciousness
  • Target demographics
  • Public health messaging
  • Psychological impact
  • Social narrative
  • Edutainment (educational entertainment)
  • Viewer fatigue
  • Multi-faceted approach
  • Public service broadcasting
  • Cultural impact
  • Media literacy
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