The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses

Today with the development of

traffic

systems, more and more

traffic

violations increase.

Therefore

, to deal with these problems, some

people

suppose that governments or local authorities should punish violators with hostile

fines

This

essay will present some reasons why I am convinced partly by

this

statement. On the one hand, admittedly, stricter punishments can be only a useful and practical key to reducing

traffic

violations. Another solution

such

as putting up

traffic

signs or dispatching

traffic

policies may be inefficient ways to help roads become safe.

However

, heavily punishing can be efficient at a certain level.

Due to

the fact that residents are always scared of heavy

fines

as they can lose lots of money for each punishment.

Besides

this

solution can have long-lasting effects. Might be the first time, that inhabitants do not pay attention to it. But, the more

fines

occur, the more

people

care about it.

Furthermore

, when more residents concentrate on the punishments and know how much income they will lose, they will become more law-abiding.

On the other hand

, there are some issues that need to be paid attention to. First of all, using too many

fines

can be counterproductive. When

people

are fined too many times, they will not be afraid of the punishments anymore.

By contrast

, might appear more residents oppose

this

regulation.

Furthermore

, many

people

can take advantage of

this

law to excite conflicts and dissatisfaction between the authorities and local inhabitants.

Hence

, the state of the

traffic

system could get worse. In conclusion,

although

I partly agree with the opinion that heavy

fines

for driving offences can be a good way to improve road safety, from my perspective, the governments

also

need some strategies to raise the awareness of the public.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Sat Aug 31 2024

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task achievement

To enhance this essay, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. General statements can be made more convincing with real-world examples or statistical data.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured, but there could be more explicit links between certain points to improve the overall coherence. Using cohesive devices such as 'therefore,' 'moreover,' and 'as a result' more frequently can strengthen this aspect.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to make it easier for the reader to follow. The points made are good but ensuring that they are clearly focused will improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in creating a cohesive structure.

task achievement

Your argument is logical and you have provided balanced views on the topic, which demonstrates a thoughtful approach to the task.

task achievement

The language used is appropriate for an IELTS essay, and your ideas are expressed clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behavior? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people think that, robots will replace teachers in the class room. Do you agree or disagree?