The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses

Today with the development of

traffic

systems, more and more

traffic

violations increase.

Therefore

, to deal with these problems, some

people

suppose that governments or local authorities should punish violators with hostile

fines

This

essay will present some reasons why I am convinced partly by

this

statement. On the one hand, admittedly, stricter punishments can be only a useful and practical key to reducing

traffic

violations. Another solution

such

as putting up

traffic

signs or dispatching

traffic

policies may be inefficient ways to help roads become safe.

However

, heavily punishing can be efficient at a certain level.

Due to

the fact that residents are always scared of heavy

fines

as they can lose lots of money for each punishment.

Besides

this

solution can have long-lasting effects. Might be the first time, that inhabitants do not pay attention to it. But, the more

fines

occur, the more

people

care about it.

Furthermore

, when more residents concentrate on the punishments and know how much income they will lose, they will become more law-abiding.

On the other hand

, there are some issues that need to be paid attention to. First of all, using too many

fines

can be counterproductive. When

people

are fined too many times, they will not be afraid of the punishments anymore.

By contrast

, might appear more residents oppose

this

regulation.

Furthermore

, many

people

can take advantage of

this

law to excite conflicts and dissatisfaction between the authorities and local inhabitants.

Hence

, the state of the

traffic

system could get worse. In conclusion,

although

I partly agree with the opinion that heavy

fines

for driving offences can be a good way to improve road safety, from my perspective, the governments

also

need some strategies to raise the awareness of the public.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Sat Aug 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance this essay, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. General statements can be made more convincing with real-world examples or statistical data.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured, but there could be more explicit links between certain points to improve the overall coherence. Using cohesive devices such as 'therefore,' 'moreover,' and 'as a result' more frequently can strengthen this aspect.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to make it easier for the reader to follow. The points made are good but ensuring that they are clearly focused will improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in creating a cohesive structure.

task achievement

Your argument is logical and you have provided balanced views on the topic, which demonstrates a thoughtful approach to the task.

task achievement

The language used is appropriate for an IELTS essay, and your ideas are expressed clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that kids who study at school might learn good behaviour and be taught about right and wrong things, it without to require not only from parents. I partly agree that school is somewhere where children learn first things and teachers should be an example of good demeanour.
5.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is widely contended that more and more people having sickness spontaneously use medicines and treatments method without doing health check in the hospital. While this has admittedly certain benefits, I would argue that this is a fairly negative trend because its demerits are far more pronounced.
6
band
Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Few individuals believe that students should learn a variety of subjects to gain more knowledge, on the other hand, few people think that undergraduates should acquire a limited number of subjects with focus and deeply. This essay intend to analyse both views and explain why I am in favour of a limited number of education.
4.5
band
The proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of monthly income spent on four different purposes by France, Germany, the United Kingdom, Turkey and Spain.
5.5
band
Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
The unemployment problem has been a long-discussed course in almost every country in the world. It has now become a huge matter in developed countries as the number of unemployed citizens is rising. However, numerous people from developing countries still consider immigrating to the developed ones. Thus, in this essay, I will explain the reasons for this movement.

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.