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Band 6.5

Environmental problems such as pollution and climate change affect all the people in the world. Therefore, individuals cannot be expected to change their behavior and only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#pollution #climate #change #people #world #individuals #behavior #governments #companies #difference
Global warming is a burgeoning issue nowadays which affects
people
's lives and nature, typically
due to
 the lack of awareness of the environment some say only governments and large organisations can take steps as individuals are not ready to change their behaviour. I will put down my opinion in the next paragraphs. It is
governed
Correct article usage
the governed
show examples
 duty to provide prima facie needs and a healthy environment to their citizens and to have control over the system of the nation including garbage, industrialization,transportation and usage of different resources. Because authorities and big companies have money and power, they can make plans to reduce the pollution spreading in the world.
For Instance
, during the time of the budget, the administration should allocate some funds to environmental protection and municipal cities will use that money on cleaning and planting more trees.
Moreover
, companies should build NGOs which can motivate citizens to be aware of pollution. I believe helping hands boost not only the work where they help but
also
 their belief
in particular
 help. As part of the nation, it is our duty
also
 to make changes in our daily lives and help the government to make the country pollution-free, but some
people
 are not taking care of the natural resources and wasting them,
such
 as water, electricity, woods, plastic bags and mainly
this
 happens due the lack education. The government should do a campaign and add environmental awareness topics in the education system which will change the
people
's minds and society will come ahead to help the nation by planting more trees and using recycled materials. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can be concluded that not only authorities and big organisations can get out of environmental issues without the help of their
people
.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and attempts to justify it. However, it's important to ensure every point is thoroughly developed and supported by specific and relevant examples. More concrete evidence and examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To increase logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your argument progresses logically throughout the essay. Transitions between points can be smoother to ensure coherence.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and providing a complete response.
content
Your writing shows a good attempt to balance arguments and provide a reasoned perspective on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable development
  • collective action
  • consumer choices
  • eco-friendly policies
  • synergistic effect
  • government regulations
  • corporate responsibility
  • grassroots movements
  • community-led initiatives
  • public support
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