Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children’s who are taught to co operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give yout personal opinion too.
In modern society, there is a debate over whether fostering a sense of
competition
or cooperation
in children
yields more beneficial outcomes for their development. While
some argue that competition
instils essential skills and drives individual success, others believe that cooperation
nurtures empathy and collaboration. This
essay agrees that collaboration is preferable for adolescents.
On the one hand, competition
prepares children
for the challenges they will face in the competitive world of adulthood. Contesting cultivates ambition, resilience, and the drive to excel, essential traits for success in various aspects of life, including academics, sports, and careers. Competition
can be healthy when it provides feedback to children
about their performance and improvement, and when they learn about themselves under challenging situations. Under these circumstances, it teaches invaluable lessons young boys and girls do not typically learn in the classroom. Unfortunately, the frequent win-at-all-costs mentality associated with many competitive endeavours can undermine their motivation and lead them to avoid or even disengage from activities they may otherwise
enjoy.
On the other hand
, cooperation
fosters social cohesion and empathy. Children
, who are taught to cooperate, learn the value of teamwork, communication, and compromise. These skills are crucial for navigating interpersonal relationships, resolving conflicts, and contributing positively to their communities. Moreover
, cooperation
promotes a sense of collective responsibility, encouraging minors to support and uplift one another rather than solely focusing on individual achievement. For example
, children
who participate in sports like football or basketball, need to pass the ball, strategize, and cooperate to score points.
To conclude
, while
the debate between competition
and cooperation
in young adults' development persists, working together and mutual support will benefit them in the long run , teaching young generations to communicate and compromise. Besides
, it does not have the mental negative aspects that unhealthy rivalry has.Submitted by natallia.khrenava on
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Examples and Detailing
Expand your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or real-life cases where cooperation has significant outcomes beyond sports. This will enrich your arguments and make your viewpoint more comprehensive.
Balancing Argument
Try to ensure a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. While your essay presents a strong case for cooperation, incorporating more insights into the benefits of competition might make your argument more balanced.
Sentence Variety
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability. Including a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.