Does internet need to be controlled by the government?

#internet #government

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There are many arguments

believe

Correct pronoun usage

that believe

show examples

that the

Internet

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does not require to be controlled by the

government

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. I think the

government

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should control the

Internet

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because too many

hackers

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command mobile phones and other devices.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are

people

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who post illegal videos.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many

hackers

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try to break through

people

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's devices to steal

information

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about them e.g. bank accounts and

information

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. The

government

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will protect everybody from getting hacked and stealing crucial

information

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. so many

people

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sue

Correct your spelling

use

show examples

hackers

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As a result

Linking Words

, The

government

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will arrest the

hackers

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eventually there will be fewer hacking crimes.

For instance

Linking Words

, in my country, application controlled by the

government

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is used by citizens if they get hacked.

Additionally

Linking Words

, phenomenal illegal videos and pictures get posted every day that affect innocent

people

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who regret doing the illegal thing. Many innocent

people

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in the documents have not done anything. but, the person who posted it established it with a guilty conscience about the innocent faces in the video or picture. Some guilty individuals after a

while

Linking Words

get regretful.

However

Linking Words

, they got exposed later the

government

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arrested him. To illustrate, the

government

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of Saudi Arabia has a Snapchat account that demonstrates the

people

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who got arrested and shows the videos but the

government

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hide their faces and blurs the video. In conclusion, I believe every country should control the

Internet

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to help

people

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from any

information

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crime.

In addition

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, many guilty

people

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post what they have done.

Therefore

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, the

government

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control the

Internet

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to protect the citizens from any bad effects.

Submitted by Endo on Sat Aug 31 2024

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task achievement

Develop the introduction further by clearly outlining your thesis statement and what the essay will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has clear topic sentences and that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points and make your arguments stronger.

coherence cohesion

Review and refine sentence structures to improve clarity and coherence.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, supporting the need for government control of the Internet.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates the author's position.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the application controlled by the government in your country and the Snapchat account in Saudi Arabia, helps to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Does internet need to be controlled by the government?

Your opinion

Millions of dollarrs are spent on space research every day. Some people argue that money should be spent on improing living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough What are the advantage and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

In certain countries, unemployment is so high that some have suggested children should stop their education after primary school to learn skills necessary to join the workforce. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts think that universal basic income only makes sense if it provides just enough to survive on so that people still need to work and earn money for living . To what extent do you agree?