'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?
It is argued that for individuals who do not use social
media
their career will be reduced in improving at chances. From my perspective, Use synonyms
this
essay disagrees with the statement, I believe that people who do not use digital communication will rise in career chances. Owing to Linking Words
this
, social Linking Words
media
can be an addiction, Use synonyms
in addition
, it can be harmful to mental and body.
Linking Words
Firstly
, social communication usually takes too much Linking Words
time
for the Use synonyms
person
who utilizes it. If the user does not put a timer, he will spend a lot of Use synonyms
time
without any conscience. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the users sometimes do not care about their lives and do not do their chores because of think that they are in their free Linking Words
time
, Use synonyms
while
, their duties are waiting for them. Linking Words
For instance
, those who are not using timers do not realize the Linking Words
time
, eventually, their work will be exacerbated, and Use synonyms
thus
, their career will be affected.
Linking Words
Secondly
, digital communication can impact a Linking Words
person
's health, so, the work that workers get will be more difficult. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, health is a fundamental factor for working without anything stopping the worker. To illustrate, if there is a company that wants to employ one Linking Words
person
, and there are two people who have the same qualifications. Use synonyms
However
, one of them has good health, Linking Words
on the other hand
, the other has bad mental (it is clear just from looking).
In conclusion, social Linking Words
media
is a bad thing, it can steal someone's life without realizing that. But, if the Use synonyms
person
uses a timer for the screen Use synonyms
time
of the phone, it will be better, and more organized. So, everybody can use Use synonyms
media
. Use synonyms
However
, with the organisation for a Linking Words
time
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Endo on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear position. However, you could strengthen your argument by elaborating on how avoiding social media specifically improves career chances and providing more relevant examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, work on providing smoother transitions between ideas and within paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your argument. Each supporting point should be linked more clearly to your central thesis.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay question directly and stated your position clearly. This is important for achieving a good score in Task Response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs for the introduction, main body, and conclusion. This enhances the reader's understanding and makes your argument more persuasive.