The news about violent crimes may frighten people or, on the contrary, encourage them to commit a crime. Therefore, some believe that these types of news should not be reported in newspapers or on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument that the

news

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related to violent

crimes

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should not be widespread because it possibly terrifies people or even stimulates viewers to commit a

crime

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. I partly agree with

this

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claim.

However

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, I

also

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believe that the

news

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about violent

crimes

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also

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plays a significant role in saving societies. On the negative side, violent

crime

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news

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could provoke people to commit

crimes

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This

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is because criminals easily imitate them by watching the

news

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of violent

crime

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. Typically,

crime

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reports contain information about

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apply

show examples

which way cases were handled. If these details are depicted precisely, it would lead to other

crimes

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Additionally

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such

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detailed reports would provide harmful effects to children as they have not had a firm criterion to distinguish right or wrong.

On the other hand

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, the media coverage of violent

crime

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is necessary to warn citizens to prevent being involved in

crimes

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, particularly in the case that a criminal has not been caught yet.

For example

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, when a violent

crime

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to elementary school students happened in Japan, police did not find a suspect immediately. The media had been warning adults to watch out to keep children safe every day until the suspect was caught.

Moreover

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, coverage of violent

crimes

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can be an opportunity to address underlying social issues related to

crimes

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, including poverty, lack of education, and welfare, and foster societal improvement. In conclusion, it is true that the

news

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about violent

crime

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has some ill effects.

However

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, the coverage would be able to save citizen’s lives through causing precautions.

Therefore

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, I believe that

while

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it is necessary to report violent

crimes

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such

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reports should be handled with caution to avoid unnecessary details that could inspire imitation.

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task achievement

Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement. While you've partially agreed with the topic, try to make your stance more distinct in the introduction. This helps set the tone for the rest of the essay.

task achievement

While you have used relevant examples, more specific statistics, reports, or real-life incidents could strengthen your argument further. Consider adding a bit more detail to the examples you provide, to reinforce your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, using transitional phrases can help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Each of your supporting points is well-developed, but the essay would be even stronger if you made sure each one is tied back to your thesis statement. This helps with overall cohesion and reinforces your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states the argument and your partially agreeing stance, which sets the stage well for the rest of the essay. This is a strong start.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion nicely ties back to the main argument, summarizing your points effectively and reinforcing your stance. This provides a satisfying closure to your essay.

relevant specific examples

The examples you use, particularly the one related to Japan, are relevant and add a strong touch to your arguments. They make your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.

logical structure

Each paragraph in your essay focuses on a single main point, which is clearly supported by examples and explanations. This clear structure makes it easy for readers to follow your argument.

complete response

The balance in your argument, acknowledging both sides of the issue, makes your essay appear well-rounded and fair-handed. This is a strong point in your task achievement.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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n many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the reasons that cause stress, and effects #stress #countries #world #effects

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?