Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Since the beginning of humanity, many different foreign
languages
are spoken by humans. Language is the most important thing that can make people
communicate. Therefore
, various languages
existed while
the civilizations were developing. Unfortunately, many of them died out through the years. Some people
think that it is not considered because differentiation makes our lives harder. In my opinion, it is important to provide any language spoken because it helps us to know human history.
Firstly
, variety of the linguistics is related to the number of different cultures. In ancient times, linguistic variation might cause
some problems between human beings to understand each other properly. Wrong verb form
have caused
However
, I believe that this
diversity makes global thinking richer. By understanding other cultures, individuals can have a greater perception in a more philosophical way. Therefore
, they can reach the knowledge of existence. Besides
some people
think that this
diversity makes our life harder, I think that it can be learned and we can make it easier.
Secondly
, the other reason that makes men and women think that the extinction of a language is not important is educational challenges. For example
, with the domination of strong nations, people
have to learn to speak foreign languages
that are accepted as common tongues. Some individuals think that not all people
can have those educational opportunities. Hence
, they believe that less variety makes our abilities grow faster. On the other hand
, in the modern world, communication is much simpler than in old times due to
new technological devices. For example
, it is not too hard to understand others with a translator. Therefore
, the barriers are not as strong as they were before.
In conclusion, I believe that all of the spoken languages
can be reserved with technological improvements because it is important to know how far we come through the years. So, they don't have to die out even if nobody speaks it.Submitted by bloodylady on
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task achievement
While the essay presents clear ideas on both sides of the argument, it would benefit from more in-depth development of each point. Try to provide more specific examples and counter-arguments where possible. For instance, discussing specific languages and cultures might strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports one main idea. The essay has a good structure, but the main points could be more neatly categorized. For instance, dividing the points about technological advances and educational issues into separate paragraphs could improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay should consistently use correct grammar and sentence structures. Watch out for minor grammatical issues, such as verb tense inconsistency (e.g., 'are' instead of 'were' in 'many different foreign languages are spoken'). Correcting these will make your narrative more professional.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and relevant, but they could be more impactful. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main arguments while reiterating your stance.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, offering a balanced view on the issue of language extinction. You give a clear response to the prompt, discussing why some people believe it's not important and providing your own reasoning for its importance.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to connect ideas between paragraphs using transitional phrases such as 'Firstly,' and 'Secondly.' This aids the overall flow of your essay, contributing to coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively wraps up your argument, emphasizing the importance of preserving languages and linking back to the introduction. It offers a forward-looking perspective by mentioning technological advancements, which creates a sense of completion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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