It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

#cultures #technology

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Technology

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is continuously modifying our culture and lifestyle, and

people

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are adapting to these changes.

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with the idea that cultures and

traditions

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will be lost altogether in the future. It is true that rapid

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technology

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technological

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advancements have changed our world in many aspects.

For example

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, in many cultures, visiting families is a principal value.

Nevertheless

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, after mobile phones were introduced to the world,

people

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communicated virtually

instead

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of meeting in person.

Also

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, they were not obliged to refer to banks to pay bills or to travel to another country to visit its tourist attractions.

This

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eroded the interpersonal socialization from which they formerly benefited. Nowadays, many individuals choose

making

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to make

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conversations over Skype, rather than driving to houses for a

night time

Correct your spelling

nighttime

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chat, or watching traditional celebrations on TV,

instead

Linking Words

of participating in them.

However

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, many

people

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noticed the negative impacts of technological developments and tried to mitigate

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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effects and revitalize

traditions

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by re-attaching

Correct pronoun usage

them to

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their valued norms. In Iran

for example

Linking Words

, many families started to hold big gatherings where family members put

the

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their

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phones in baskets and made effective communications, maintaining a sense of attention and care.

Additionally

Linking Words

technology

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has facilitated long-distance communications

Change preposition

through

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social media, whereby

people

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can make friends and chat unlimitedly for free.

Also

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, there are online gaming platforms, attracting everyone from any age profile or

countries

Fix the agreement mistake

country

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to enjoy their leisure time together.

This

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leads to long-lasting friendships and random discussions about cultural differences, foods, and ceremonies, and

consequently

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raising cultural awareness through relationships.

Therefore

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, it is not true that

technology

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and

traditions

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are irrelevant, at least regarding how it has brought many together worldwide. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

technology

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has posed threats to some cultural

traditions

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, an appropriate approach could address the issues effectively and turn threats into opportunities to sustain cultural heritages.

Submitted by m.ali.gholamalian on Mon Sep 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your argument is presented clearly and consistently. Occasionally, it feels like there are minor disconnects between sentences.

task achievement

Add more specific examples or statistics to further support your points. This will enhance the reliability of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the rest of the essay and clearly presents your stance on the topic.

task achievement

You have used specific cultural examples that are engaging and help illustrate your points well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inevitable
traditional cultures
technological development
modern society
incompatible
decline
traditional crafts
rituals
digital communication
preserve
promote
documentation
online archives
virtual museums
social media
coexist
integrates
digital storytelling
augmented reality
cultural tourism
perspective

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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

Your opinion

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In advertising, businesses usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •explain the important event •apologies for the situation •suggest a new arrangement

some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries has a positive affect; others say it could contribute to a loss of the country's identities. Do you agree or disagree