It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.
Technology
is continuously modifying our culture and lifestyle, and people
are adapting to these changes. However
, I disagree with the idea that cultures and traditions
will be lost altogether in the future.
It is true that rapid technology
advancements have changed our world in many aspects. Replace the word
technological
For example
, in many cultures, visiting families is a principal value. Nevertheless
, after mobile phones were introduced to the world, people
communicated virtually instead
of meeting in person. Also
, they were not obliged to refer to banks to pay bills or to travel to another country to visit its tourist attractions. This
eroded the interpersonal socialization from which they formerly benefited. Nowadays, many individuals choose making
conversations over Skype, rather than driving to houses for a Change the verb form
to make
night time
chat, or watching traditional celebrations on TV, Correct your spelling
nighttime
instead
of participating in them.
However
, many people
noticed the negative impacts of technological developments and tried to mitigate its
effects and revitalize Correct pronoun usage
their
traditions
by re-attaching to
their valued norms. In Iran Correct pronoun usage
them to
for example
, many families started to hold big gatherings where family members put the
phones in baskets and made effective communications, maintaining a sense of attention and care. Change the word
their
Additionally
, technology
has facilitated long-distance communications by
social media, whereby Change preposition
through
people
can make friends and chat unlimitedly for free. Also
, there are online gaming platforms, attracting everyone from any age profile or countries
to enjoy their leisure time together. Fix the agreement mistake
country
This
leads to long-lasting friendships and random discussions about cultural differences, foods, and ceremonies, and consequently
raising cultural awareness through relationships. Therefore
, it is not true that technology
and traditions
are irrelevant, at least regarding how it has brought many together worldwide.
In conclusion, while
technology
has posed threats to some cultural traditions
, an appropriate approach could address the issues effectively and turn threats into opportunities to sustain cultural heritages.Submitted by m.ali.gholamalian on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your argument is presented clearly and consistently. Occasionally, it feels like there are minor disconnects between sentences.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or statistics to further support your points. This will enhance the reliability of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the rest of the essay and clearly presents your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have used specific cultural examples that are engaging and help illustrate your points well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?