It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

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Technology
is continuously modifying our culture and lifestyle, and
people
are adapting to these changes.
However
, I disagree with the idea that cultures and
traditions
will be lost altogether in the future. It is true that rapid
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancements have changed our world in many aspects.
For example
, in many cultures, visiting families is a principal value.
Nevertheless
, after mobile phones were introduced to the world,
people
communicated virtually
instead
of meeting in person.
Also
, they were not obliged to refer to banks to pay bills or to travel to another country to visit its tourist attractions.
This
eroded the interpersonal socialization from which they formerly benefited. Nowadays, many individuals choose
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
conversations over Skype, rather than driving to houses for a
night time
Correct your spelling
nighttime
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chat, or watching traditional celebrations on TV,
instead
of participating in them.
However
, many
people
noticed the negative impacts of technological developments and tried to mitigate
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
effects and revitalize
traditions
by re-attaching
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
their valued norms. In Iran
for example
, many families started to hold big gatherings where family members put
the
Change the word
their
show examples
phones in baskets and made effective communications, maintaining a sense of attention and care.
Additionally
,
technology
has facilitated long-distance communications
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
social media, whereby
people
can make friends and chat unlimitedly for free.
Also
, there are online gaming platforms, attracting everyone from any age profile or
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
to enjoy their leisure time together.
This
leads to long-lasting friendships and random discussions about cultural differences, foods, and ceremonies, and
consequently
raising cultural awareness through relationships.
Therefore
, it is not true that
technology
and
traditions
are irrelevant, at least regarding how it has brought many together worldwide. In conclusion,
while
technology
has posed threats to some cultural
traditions
, an appropriate approach could address the issues effectively and turn threats into opportunities to sustain cultural heritages.
Submitted by m.ali.gholamalian on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your argument is presented clearly and consistently. Occasionally, it feels like there are minor disconnects between sentences.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or statistics to further support your points. This will enhance the reliability of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the rest of the essay and clearly presents your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have used specific cultural examples that are engaging and help illustrate your points well.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • traditional cultures
  • technological development
  • modern society
  • incompatible
  • decline
  • traditional crafts
  • rituals
  • digital communication
  • preserve
  • promote
  • documentation
  • online archives
  • virtual museums
  • social media
  • coexist
  • integrates
  • digital storytelling
  • augmented reality
  • cultural tourism
  • perspective
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