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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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The given two pie charts were broken down into six categories and
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 the percentages of how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 was consumed, and the number of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
, both for Australian households. As can be seen from the pie chart
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
heating and water heating occupied the majority of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they produced only half of the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption. The second biggest
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 emission contributor
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 other appliances. It is obvious that heating used 42% of
energy
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it only emitted 15% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, other appliances consumed no more than a fifth of
energy
Use synonyms
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 produced almost 30% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, refrigerators and lighting used only 7% and 4 % of
energy
Use synonyms
,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, their
emissions
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled by 14% and 8%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that the numbers for water heating and cooling in both categories were nearly equal, and their discrepancy was just 1% to 2%.
Submitted by wendy190427 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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